You're my doll

Stay away

Trixies pov:

Day 20,
I'm still avoiding Brian, he has yet to get it in his head that I want nothing to do with him. It's hard to stay away cause I miss the way he holds me and showers me in compliments. But I can't go back after what he's done, he hurt me going after and fucking that skank ginger. After people found out that I was and now no longer with Brian, all of my friends have been very supportive. But after the guys at the club found out they've been trying to get with me, giving me free drinks and leaving little gifts as such. Maybe that will show Brian that I don't want to be near him.

I finished the last sentence before putting my journal away. Pearl told me to write my emotions down so I could get them all out without hurting me or anyone else. And to be honest it's really helping. I decided to write down how many days without Brian I can go through emotional before moving on from him.

I walked out of my dressing room and took a deep breath and walked over to my vanity to touch up my make up. Of course it's covered in bouquets of flowers and small lovey dovey trinkets. I do appreciate it all but I still need time to recover from such a harsh heartbreak. But I do love having a couple pieces of chocolate after a set.

"Damn someone really has a lot of admirersssss" Alaska said picking up a rose and smelling it.

"Yeahhhh, it's cute and all...but it's a lot to take home" I giggled popping a piece of chocolate in my mouth.

"Understandable, But whenever sharons here she liked to leave black roses and a cute spooky stuffed animal" she smiled thinking about Sharon. I found out a couple days ago that their official, and their absolutely adorable together.

"Aw that's really cute, I didn't expect her to be that romantic" I said leaning back on my vanity. She twirled a piece of her hair smiling more.

"Me neither! But i guess she's just full of surprises" she shrugged blushing softly.

"Guess she is, hey I'm gonna go to the bar real quick, so ya want anything?" I asked grabbing a few of my tips from my set earlier.

"Oh could you get me a cosmo pleaseee? I'm really in the mood for one" I nodded and went out on the club floor and up to the bar smiling at the bartender Vincent. He's a real charmer I'll tell you that, and he makes sure every drink is perfect.

"Hey Vincent! Could I get a cosmo and a pink lady please?" I batted my lashes sitting on the barstool. He laughed looking at me and nodded.

"So basically you and thunderfucks usual?" I nodded back giggling and counted how much I had.

"How much for both? I hope I have enough...if not I'll just go back and get more.." I put down a fifty and put the rest in my bra as I watched him make our drinks. I usually like to over pay the bartenders here just to see the smile on their face.

"Well as many times as I've told you, it's on the house. And you know this kitty" he laughed lightly pushing the fifty away. I pouted and pretended to put it back in my bra as he came over to me.

"That's not fair you knowww, at least lemme give you a tip" I winked and put it in his front pocket before grabbing my drinks and heading backstage.

"Yassss! Oh he made it like a galaxy this timeeee" Alaska squealed taking her drink from me.

"Guess he's in a really good mood today, or there's no one else at the bar" I giggled taking a sip of mine. Ru came over to us and looked at me a bit nervously.

"Hey so I know your most likely gonna say no but-" I instantly put my hand up already knowing what he's gonna say.

"If it's him again tell him to fuck off I'm not doing it" I angrily took another sip of my drink and sighed sitting down on my chair at my vanity.

"I knew you were gonna say that, but listen he told me he doesn't want what you think upstairs. Just go up there and figure things out for fucks sake" he sighed crossing his arms. I groaned and got up reluctantly.

"Fine. But this one time only and then after that I'm not doing it ever again." I went upstairs and just stopped staring at the door. That same room that had so many memories, lust, love, passion. All crushed and destroyed in just a few minutes, and I wish to never ever see the same room again.

But I couldn't just stand there and stare, I had to go in there and face the man that I've been avoiding for so long. I took a deep breath and opened the door seeing his back faced to me on the bed, I saw cigarette smoke float up to the ceiling, it was completely silent and it was kinda creepy.

"Are you just gonna ignore me like an asshole or are you gonna talk to me and make me angry." I asked coming up to him and crossing my arms. His head instantly lifted up and turned to look at me. He looked horrible, he hasn't shaved for days, his eyes were bloodshot and looked tired, his hair was a complete mess, and his clothes were stained and wrinkly.

"I-I didn't think you would come...fuck you look so damn beautiful..." he got up and came up to me trying to give me a hug but I stepped back before he could even touch me.

"Thanks..now what did you want to talk about..did you wanna talk about how you absolutely fucked up?" I said moving away from him and sitting on the couch and taking a cigarette out from the pack he had open.

"Yeah...listen I just really wanted to explain myself..I'm really sorry what I did...I didn't know what I was thinking..it's hard not being with you..it's so empty..I haven't slept in weeks..without your touch..and your love..I can't function..I'll do whatever you want just please take me back!" He got down to his knees as his eyes got glassy.

"How do I know your sincere about this..you seemed to have fun with your pretty little whore of yours...what's the difference anyways.." I lit my cigarette and took a long drag glaring at him as I blew the smoke right in his face.

"I'm being so sincere...please Trixie..all I want is you...I'm an idiot and I shouldn't have done that...I-I wasn't fully there..I admit it I was fuckin smashed..." I sighed taking another drag and thinking about what he's telling me.

"I'll tell you what. I'll think about this for a week. At the end of the week if I come back to your house then I forgive you...but if I don't show up by midnight  then I'm never taking you back..I'm being generous Brian..you really hurt me...and it's gonna take a while to gain my trust back.." he nodded vigorously taking my hand and kissing the top of it as a tear fell.

"I promise I won't let you down...I need you so bad in my life...you make everything happier...your my sunshine..." I finished my cigarette and got up about to head out, I got up to the door and turned to him sadly.

"I'll admit this..I do miss you Brian..I felt actual love with you..but you broke my heart..and I don't know if I'll ever be able to feel that way again..." I looked down and went back downstairs not looking back at him.

It's gonna be hard for me, but he has a week to prove to me that he's being sincere and he truly loves me. And if he can prove it then it was a drunken mistake. If not, then he's gonna be out of my life forever...