I'm Not Gay

2

They arrived back to the institute and changed out of their ichor splattered training gear. 

"Alec!" Izzy called into Alec's room.

Alec walked over to the door and opened it. "Yeah?"

"Fire message from that warlock, Magnus Bane. Apparently one of us dropped a small blade. Magnus has it, and he wanted you to come get it." 

Alec sighed, "Me?"

"Yes, you. He requested you specifically. If I didn't know better, I'd say he has a—"

Alec cut her off, "Couldn't he just bring it here? Someone could meet him at the entrance."

"Nope, in his fire message he said to send you over to retrieve it." 

Alec rolled his eyes, "Fine," he said. 

A few minutes later, Alec found himself walking down the streets, once again. He wasn't sure how he felt about going back to Magnus', much less being requested to come by the warlock himself. He was sure, though, that he felt something for the warlock. These feelings, however, weren't quite like the feelings he felt for Jace. There was just something about Magnus...

Alec wasn't sure how long he'd been in thought, but he was at Magnus' building. He pressed the button labelled "BANE". 

"WHO DARES DISTURB THE HIGH WARLOCK OF BROOKLYN?" the warlock's voice boomed over the speaker. 

"Um, it's Alec Lightwood." 

"Oh, Alexander," Magnus' voice was suddenly much softer, "Come right up." The doors unlocked and Alec walked in. 

Magnus greeted Alec at his door with a large, grey cat in tow. The cat purred and walked in and out of Magnus' legs. 

"Why, hello Alexander, come in, come in" Magnus said as he bent down and picked up the cat. He stepped from the doorway and allowed Alec to walk inside. He closed the door behind him. "Well, what you do you think of him, Chairman?" 

"Chairman?" Alec asked, unable to stop the smile from forming on his face. 

"Yes, Chairman Meow to be exact. I don't date anyone unless he approves." 

At the word date, Alec's mantra came back into his head, I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay. "Date?" he said, "Um, no, sorry, I don't, I'm not—" Alec couldn't seem to find the right words. 

Magnus smiled, "Are you trying to tell me you aren't into guys?" 

"Yes. I mean, no, I'm not," Alec blushed. 

"If you say so," Magnus mumbled. 

An awkward silence settled over the two for a couple seconds, then Alec said, "So, the blade then?" 

"Right, yes," Magnus walked into the next room after setting Chairman Meow on the ground. The cat immediately looked up at Alec and began to purr. When Magnus came back in, he was rubbing his head against Alec's legs. 

"Too bad," Magnus said, "He likes you." He handed Alec the small blade. He immediately recognized it as one of Jace's throwing knives. Careless, as usual, Alec thought, a small smile forming upon his lips. 

"Well, since you say you aren't into guys, I hope that we can be friends, at least. Maybe go out for a drink sometime?" Magnus asked with a hopeful smile. 

"As friends?" Alec asked. 

"Of course." 

"Um, yeah, sounds fun." 

"Great." 

The two exchanged numbers before Alec left. He had a smile on his face, acutely aware that he may have just agreed to a date with the warlock. 

The smile was still on Alec's face as the arrived back at the institute.

"Here, you left this at the warlocks." Alec handed the blade to Jace. Jace scowled, but didn't answer. 

"What are you so happy over?" Izzy asked with a knowing look on her face. 

"Nothing," Alec said, his face reddening. He quickly dropped his smile. 

"Doesn't seem like nothing," Izzy prodded. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile like that." 

"I don't think I've ever seen him smile," Jace teased. 

"Both of you, seriously, just..." Alec sighed, "let it go, okay?" 

Izzy and Jace both realized that Alec was serious and exchanged looks of concern. Alec walked out of the room. They both heard a door shut down the hall. Suddenly, Clary came in. 

"What's up with Alec?" she asked, "He seemed upset." 

"He came back from Magnus' with this smile on his face, and when we asked about it, he got all defensive," Jace explained. 

****

Alec laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure why he suddenly felt so defensive over how he felt about Magnus. Truth was, he felt that he was beginning to develop feelings for the warlock, but he was afraid of these newfound feelings. He wasn't even sure what he felt; he just knew it was something that he'd never felt before, not even for Jace.  A few minutes later, there was a knock at his door. 

"Alec?" came a voice from the other side. Alec recognized his sister's voice. He got up and opened the door. 

"Can we talk?" Izzy asked. Alec wordlessly stepped out of the doorway to let her in, closing it behind them.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked. 

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." 

"I'm fine," Alec said, a little too hastily. 

Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously. I'm fine," he repeated, softening his tone. He really didn't want Izzy to worry about him. 

"Alright Alec, you're my brother, so I know you are lying to me, but I'm going to let it go for now, because I know you would only lie to me if you had a good reason. Whatever it is, you have my support and I'm here when you're ready to talk." 

"Thanks Izzy, but I don't know if you'd support me about this." 

"You had my back when I told you about Meliorn and I," Izzy reminded him that she'd support him even if it went against Shadowhunter tradition. 

"Thanks, Izzy," Alec repeated. 

Izzy stood in the room for a few more minutes. "So you really aren't going to tell me what's bothering you?" 

Alec couldn't stop the smile, "No, at least not right now. I'm still figuring things out, but I promise, when I'm ready, you will be the first person I tell."

"Even before Jace?" Izzy's face brightened. 

"You first, then Jace, promise, okay?"

She nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. 

Suddenly, Alec's phone dinged. He pulled it out of his pocket. 

1 Message from: Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn

"Hey. - M"

Alec's smile grew as he read what Magnus named himself in his phone. 

"Hey. :)" he texted back.