On Monday, I dread school. Everyone knows, they've seen the posters. And if not, they will.
Last night, Dad came to the kitchen where I was making a sandwich and handed me a flyer. The face of my sister made my heart ache, but I kept it to myself. "I want you to take that to school tomorrow," he shoved his hands in his pockets.
"You show it to everyone, make copies if you have to. I want to get her face out there." I looked down and nodded, not saying a word.
Now I stand at the bus stop and fold it so it fits in my pocket. With my dad busy at home and Butch busy looking for Charlie, it's back to public transport for me. For the first time, Sam and I have plenty of room. It feels terrible.
When I get off the bus, I walk across the street to where Amy is parked.
Henry and the boys stand around the car chattering. When Henry sees me coming, he hushes them and they turn to me. Victor crosses his arms and kicks at the tire with one of his heavy boots. Patrick has the same smirk that never seems to leave his face. Belch looks at me like he's trying to hide what I already know. Henry avoids my eyes as best he can, but when he accidentally makes contact, I sigh.
"I know he told you," Crossing my arms, I shoot Henry an agitated glare. Belch puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes like he's trying to transmit a secret I'm sorry. But I don't want any pity. I don't deserve it. It isn't a normal kind of thing where I can cry and be sad and let people comfort me. There are too many mixed-up feelings─ and what's starting to grow, more and more, is this ball of fear in my stomach that I can't control. Fear I might get caught. I know that it's not what I'm supposed to feel. And I feel even guiltier for feeling it. But I can't help it.
The bell rings suddenly. "I can't be here right now," I say as I watch students file into the building.
"I'd get you out of here, but the school called the house and told my dad I'd be suspended if I missed anymore classes," Henry says, a hint of anger in his voice. "I don't need him nagging my ass." But I know that's not the truth. His dad would lay into him like there's no tomorrow. The thought itself made me clench my jaw in anger.
"No, it's fine," I give him a knowing stare. "I don't want to get you in any trouble,"
Belch shrugs. "I can take her," Henry and I turn to him. "And do what?" Henry says defensively. Belch looks startled, realizing his words were taken out of context. "I was just thinking we could hang out," I smile, but Henry isn't so convinced.
"You better not pull any shit, you hear?" Belch just nods and I roll my eyes. "Alright. Now get outta here before I change my mind," Henry points to the car. I start to walk around to the passenger side when he stops me. He pulls me in, to spite Belch, and kisses me hard. I blush but don't stop myself.
When he pulls away, my legs are jelly and I have a hand on Amy to steady myself. He turns to Belch, who looks like a child who was just scolded. "Take care of my girl." His tone is threatening, but I'm too distracted by the fact he just called me his girl to notice. I smile sheepishly and walk around to the passenger side.
Belch starts the car and I realize by his silence that Henry actually got in his head.
"Belch," he turns to me. "You can talk to me, it's just us." I tease. He nods and shifts the gear, driving off.
He eventually loosens up and asks if I want anything to eat. Soon, we're sitting in an alleyway with our burgers and flipping through the shitty satellite channels.
We get to talking about different things. School, home, music, the band teacher Mr. Porter's cheap toupee. We died of laughter at that last one.
When we run out of things to talk about, we sit in silence. But it's a comfortable silence. It's different from the ones I have with Henry. Despite the calm, something still nags at me inside.
