Sincerely Yours, Bill Cipher

My Dearest Rosanna

     Nothing else out of the ordinary has occurred since Dan and Seb left. Well, at least nothing that I'm aware of. We called Pacifica over and now Dipper, Mabel, and Yule are discussing these strange aftereffects with her.
     I've taken some time away from everyone else for a while to think. There are so many thoughts just swimming around in my head.
     Mabel has told me that whenever my thoughts get so jumbled like this, I should write down how I feel instead of trying to sort out my thoughts mentally. I've tried writing a journal, though it hasn't worked well for my personal thoughts. More for interesting things I learn about.
     Rosanna coos in my arms, blearily opening her eyes to look up at me. All right, I'm not completely alone. The baby helps calm my nerves. Talking to her is the best way I have to sort out my thoughts.
     What if that's my answer?
     I sift through the desk of the side room I'm in for a sheet of paper. I grab a pen from the same place, sit at the desk, then I begin to write.

My dearest Rosanna,
     This is your big brother Bill. Over the last couple of years, particularly these past few weeks, my life has been completely turned upside-down.    
     Talking to you always calms my nerves, so I'm starting this series of letters for you to read when you're older. Hopefully you can learn from them, not make the same mistakes I have and will, and apply them to your own life. 
     I just remembered that I had brothers and a sister a long time ago. I'd forgotten, and I don't know what to think of it. I wonder if I've forgotten their importance to me. You hold special importance as my sister, so wouldn't they?
     Recently, I've made life insane for our family and friends. You and your parents will be fine, but I've made lots of trouble for myself, my friends, and others, and I don't know how to end it all.
     Yule keeps telling me that everything's going to be okay. He died just over a few weeks ago, but he's come back to us as a ghost. Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, and a friend of ours can see him, but nobody else can. I hope that by some miracle, you'll remember him. Dipper says you're still able to see his yourself because you're still young, but he's afraid that won't last for much longer. Anyway, Yule is a great encouragement to us all during this time of confusion. I only wish we could do more for him.
     Oh, stars, you're starting to fall asleep in my arms. I've been reading this aloud as I write it, but I think my voice is putting you to sleep! I suppose I'll sign off until next time. I send you all my love, Rosanna.
Sincerely yours,
Bill Cipher

I seal the letter in an envelope and scribble her name on the front. I tuck it inside the smallest drawer in the desk with the pen.
     The infant slumbers in my arms, her lips parted slightly. I gently touch the top of her head, and my fingers are met with soft, brown curls. I wonder if this is what Dipper, Mabel, Yule, and Pacifica were like when they were babies. I wonder if me and my siblings were ever infants... or may be just always... existed?
The longer I stay here around humans, the more my mind warps my demonic life. I can't keep anything straight anymore. But, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Last year, the thought of becoming fully human was a nightmare. Now, it truly is my life.
     All of a sudden, I hear Pacifica and Yule yelling from the other room. The baby in my arms jolts awake and begins to cry loudly.
I run to the kitchen, putting the baby in her carrier there. I turn to see Pacifica shaking, her eyes filling with tears. Dipper and Mabel look dumbfounded, trying to figure out what's going on.
Yule stumbles around in his ghostly body, unintentionally phasing through things like when he first got it. "This is sooo weird..." he trails, then looking at Pacifica.
Pacifica notices me, and her face crumples. Her tears spill as she begins to sob. She runs to me and throws her arms around me, her tears dampening my shoulder.
"It's m-me, Bill," I hear through her cries. "It's Yule!"
Shock and gladness run through me as I embrace him tight, so thankful for this human contact he's been longing for for so long.
     Yule/Pacifica shakes with cries, gripping the back of my shirt.
     "So..." Dipper points to the disheveled ghost next to us. "You're Pacifica? This is weird. I would have thought you would look like yourself, because Yule technically does not have a body- but I guess his ghostly body is an exception."
     "Dipper!" Pacifica shouts from Yule's ghost body. She reaches for him, but her hand phases right through. "Whaaat? Yule, how do you do this?"
     Yule hiccups and pulls away from me. "Food, now," he demands, looking me dead in the eye. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that it's really him in there, not Pacifica. "C'mon!" he shouts. "We could switch back any second! This-" his voice hitches, "this may be the only chance I ever have again to be human!"
     He runs to the fridge, pulling out leftover pizza, strawberries, soda, sliced turkey and cheese, and the pasta from last night's dinner. He heaves all the stuff to the table and immediately begins to gorge himself.
     "If you make me fat," Pacifica warns, "I am going to kill you."
     "I'm already dead!" Yule exclaims through mouthfuls.
     I can already tell that the pizza is his favorite the way he savors each bite, unlike the other food. I know how much he's been craving it over this past month.
     As suddenly as if began, Pacifica blinks, resetting. Yule seems to also be back in his own ghostly body.
"That was crazy!" Pacifica shouts, going to wash off her hands from Yule's food spree.
I look at Yule, and he appears kind of disappointed. I want to wrap him in another hug, but all I can say is, "I'm sorry, Yule."
He sighs. "It's... okay. I'm okay." He laughs sheepishly. "Sorry, Pacifica, for the mess."
Pacifica laughs in response. "It's alright. I understand."
     However, I feel if there's anyone who should be apologizing for this whole mess we're in, it should be me.