Sincerely Yours, Bill Cipher

I'm Glad

"So what did you want to talk about, Mabel?" I ask after we sit down together in the attic, away from everyone else.
She looks down at the floor, biting her lip nervously. She looks back at me and asks, "Bill, how do you think we're doing? What do you think about... about us?"
What? That's what this is about? Does she want to... break up with me? "I'm hoping we're fine. Do you..." I take her hand in mine. "Do you not think we are?"
"Oh, good. I'm glad you think we're okay," she says softly, a smile growing across her face. "I think we are, too."
"Then what's the matter? What's all this about?"
"It's just..." She heaves a deep sigh. "These past couple months have been a nightmare. Sure, good stuff has come out of it, but I'm just so tired of it all. And I know it's not your fault, it's absolutely not, but..."
My chest tightens. "But what?"
She turns away with a blush. "I hate my family being in danger all the time. Including you. I know this has nothing to do with our relationship, but..." She turns back, her eyes glistening. "I think I need a break. This isn't it, we're not over, but I just need time. I need time with my brother. I need time with Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford. I want to spend more time with Rosanna, Melody, and Soos. I want to spend more time with you, and all our other friends, too, but right now... I just don't think I'm quite ready to be back in a relationship. I'm sorry."
I release her hand. "So... are you breaking up with me?"
"No! ...Yes? No, no, I'm not!" she exclaims, stressfully conflicted. "It's only a break. I promise. At least... at least tell me you understand."
"No, I get it," I tell her gently. "I understand. A break would be good for me, too, I think."
She looks at me gratefully, blinking back her tears. "Really?"
I smile. "Really." I take her hands and kiss her cheek. "I still love you and I'll be ready for whenever you'll take me back."
"You're too sure of yourself," she says with a laugh. "Don't get cocky now. Maybe I'll run off and date a puppeteer, or maybe a merman, or... Ooh! A supposed zombie that turns out to be a bunch of gnomes!"
"Yeah, right," I laugh. "Anyway, I'm not being cocky, because I know you. If you tell me that this is just a short pause in our relationship, that we're not going to be apart for long, I believe you."
She throws her arms around me. "You're the best boyfriend ever, you know that?"
"Of course I know that," I answer, smirking.
She pushes me away, a smile on her face. "Cocky."
"Cutie," I counter, bouncing my finger off her nose.
"Stop!" she says, covering her blushing face with her hands. "You're making me regret my choice."
"It's never too late to turn baaack," I singsong.
    "Seriously, Bill," she scolds me with a grin. "But really though, we're good?"
     "We're good," I promise, and I really mean it.

                        ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

     My name is Bill Cipher. I don't know how I got to this point, but what I do know is that things have turned out all right.
     I've made countless mistakes in my lifetime. I've destroyed so many things and caused abundant chaos. I have no right to be forgiven for all that I've done.
     And yet, I have been.
     I've found a family. People who love me, who care about me, who take pleasure in being around each other. I never knew that this is what family is supposed to be. It's so much more wonderful than I ever could've imagined.
     Friends were a foreign concept when I came to this dimension. I never knew how much loyalty you have to pour into that kind of relationship. I never knew that so much fun could burst from time with them. They are something that I cannot live without.
     And love. Where do I even start? Does it truly come from the human heart beating inside my chest, or does it come from someplace deeper, someplace deep within the inner reaches of my soul? Wherever it comes from, whatever it is, it's completely essential to life, which I never knew before. It blossoms from within, warms from head to toe, bears grief, bears hope, bears even more love. How did I ever manage living without it before?
I've learned how deep the agonies of grief can take hold. I've learned how piercing the pangs of love can be. I've learned so much.
     I am completely. changed. Axolotl was right. Everything in this life of mine came to be through choices. I was given a second chance. A second chance. How many people get to be blessed with that? I'm going to make the most of it.
"Bill, are you coming?" Yule asks, drawing me out of my daze. "Hello? Earth to Bill."
"Oh, yes, yeah, I am."
"Get your shoes on!" Mabel commands. "You've been zoning out for the last five minutes. We're going to be late!"
"Late?" I ask through a laugh. "You can't be late for a walk."
"I know." She smiles widely. "I just like when we get to take Rosanna out with us."
"I'll grab the stroller," Dipper offers.
"Dipper, please. You couldn't steer a stroller if your life depended on it," Pacifica says with a teasing snicker.
"I could too!"
"With practice," she replies, lifting herself up on her tiptoes to peck a kiss on his cheek. He turns her head to meet her with a full-on kiss.
The baby squeals from her place in Mabel's arms. Yule does a headstand to try and distract the restless child. It's funny. He wasn't able to do headstands when he was alive. He's growing into his own skin (excuse the irony). I'm glad for him.
I'm glad for him and Merrily. I'm so glad they found each other.
I'm glad for Dipper and Pacifica, and the relationship they've built together.
I'm glad for Mabel, and everything she's done for me and her own self, too. I couldn't be prouder of her.
I'm glad for Soos, Melody, and Rosanna, for the family they made together. For the family they let me become a part of.
I'm glad for everyone else that has befriended me, who has taught me, who has brought me through the good times and the bad. They deserve all the happiness in the world, and for some reason, they found it in their hearts to share that happiness with me.
I'm glad.
I'm so, so glad.