Sincerely Yours, Bill Cipher

Simply Human

     "I'm so happy you all came today," Mrs. Shields says, hugging us each in turn.
     It's Christmas Day. Tyler invited us all over. He knew it would be a hard day for his mother, it being Yule's birthday and all.
     Yule, Merrily, Pacifica, Dipper, Mabel, and I have made sure to be the first to arrive. We are having three surprise guests for Mrs. Shields tonight. It was a wonder we were able to contact them, but everything worked in our favor.
     Mabel and I are back together, and I hope we will stay that way for a long time to come.
     "I'm happy to be here, Mrs. Shields," I say warmly, giving her another hug in Yule's place, who is standing next to me right now. He watches, blinking away the tears in his eyes.
"Bill, can I see you in the kitchen for a sec?" Tyler asks, motioning for me to follow.
Leaving behind the others in the living room, when we reach the kitchen, I ask, "What's up?", even though I full well know what's up. He wants to talk to Yule.
"My brother's right here with you, right?"
"Yes, he's right beside me." I gesture to what must seem like empty space to him.
Tyler just smiles at Yule. "Hey," he says, and I detect so much more behind that word. He looks back at me, waving me back to the other room. "I'll take it from here."
I stare at him, confused. "But you can't-"
"I can understand him well enough," Tyler responds firmly. "I know him like nobody else does. As long as I know he's here listening to me, that's enough."
"Go ahead, Bill," Yule prompts me. "It's been ages since I've gotten to speak with him alone."

:::::::::::::::::::

Shortly after Yule and Tyler return to the living room where the rest of us have been chatting, there's a knock on the door.
"Could you get that, Mom?" Tyler asks, pretending to check a text on his phone. We all really know who's at the door, and Mrs. Shields needs to see them first. She nods and opens the door for our visitors.
"Oh! Oh my goodness!" Mrs. Shields shrieks, her hands flying to her chest.
Florian, on the other side of the door with his wife and child, smiles gently. "Hello... Mother."
Mrs. Shields sobs and throws her arms around him. "You must be Florian!" she exclaims through her tears. They embrace even more tightly, Mrs. Shields laughing and crying all at once.
The baby, who can't be more than a couple weeks old, whimpers in Brindle's arms.
"Oh. Oh my. You really did have a baby," Mrs. Shields breathes out in wonder as she turns to gaze at the faerie infant.
Brindle look at Mrs. Shields and, after a moment of hesitation, says, "Would you like to hold him?"
"Yes. Yes." The baby is handed to Mrs. Shields. He opens his tiny eyes and looks up at her. His little fists move under the bundle of blankets he's wrapped up in. "He's precious," remarks Mrs. Shields in enraptured awe. "What's his name?"
     Brindle and Florian exchange a look. Florian steps up and puts a hand on his son's head. "We decided to name him- well, we thought it would please you if we named him... Yule."
Mrs. Shields sobs audibly again and cradles the child close to her. "Thank you," she cries softly. "Thank you."
When she hands the child back to Brindle, Mrs. Shields cups Florian's face in her hands. "Oh my word. You look so much like my Tyler."
"Well," Florian says, giving a short laugh, "I technically am your Tyler."
"Oh, you know what I mean," she replies though a trembling smile. She hugs him again. "I can't believe I'm finally meeting my third son again after all these years."
Yule, Tyler, and Florian smile. A third son. A third brother. Not one of them could've expected their lives to have turned out this way, but perhaps everything worked out well for them in the end.
"Which also means you look like your father, too," Mrs. Shields continues to gush at Florian.
"Why don't we sit down?" Florian suggests, overwhelmed by Mrs. Shields continuing to dote on him. "You can tell me all about him, and your son Yule, too."
     Ding-Dong!
     I get the door to find Merrily there, holding wrapped presents in her arms. "Merry Christmas!" she calls out cheerfully.
     "You made it!" I exclaim, closing the door behind her. She walks inside, setting the presents down and brushing the snow off of herself.
     "Merrily!" Yule rushes over to greet his girlfriend. He throws a glance over his shoulder, makes sure his mother isn't looking (she's still completely occupied with Florian and his family), then hovers most of the rest of the melting snow off of her, but leaves the snowflakes that have fallen in her hair. "The flakes in your hair will melt soon enough," he explains, "but you look really pretty with snowy hair right now."
     Merrily's face lights up. "Happy birthday, Yule!" She can barely restrain the volume of her voice so that Mrs. Shields doesn't hear. "That makes eighteen, right? How does it feel being an adult?"
     "I don't know," he says, shrugging. "How does it feel being twenty-two?"
     Merrily giggles. "Point taken."
     He meets her for a kiss. "I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad everyone's here!" He casts a glance toward his family. "The only thing that could make this better would be if they could see and hear me, too." His expression changes. "What if we told her? What if we told my mom that I'm here? I'm happy. I'm truly happy. Would it really make her sadder? I know that Dad isn't here, and I don't know where he may be, and I know that will unsettle her, but... would it just devastate her that I'm right here with her and she can't see or hear me?" His eyes fill with tears and he bows his head as they fall.
     "Think about it, love," Merrily says gently. "You aren't ready to make that decision today, and that's okay. It's best that you wait, if you're serious about this. This decision won't only affect you, but your whole family."
Yule nods, brushing away his tears. "Yes, yes, you're right." He smiles, sniffling. "I'll save that question for later, if I need to think about it again. For now, let's just have a wonderful day."

                            ::::::::::::::::::

     We spend the rest of the day exchanging gifts and memories. As we laugh and talk the day away as the snow falls outside, I think about the tangibility of this life I have before me.
It isn't perfect. No, far from it, but it's a good little life I have, and I still can't believe it's mine.
It's fractured. It's broken. And yet, it's still whole. It's been healed. I've been healed.
I've been given another chance. Me. Whether it be from Axolotl, or the people around me, or someone else entirely, I've been freed through this new life of mine. I'm free. At last.
"Bill, you good?" Yule asks, looking at me with slight concern.
"I'm fine," I answer, smiling. "Just lost in my thoughts."
"What are you thinking about?" Mabel squeezes my hand.
"Good things," I assure her.
     My story isn't coming to an end. It's still at the start. All I have to do is live it out myself.
     Life is so complicatedly emotional, yet so simply human, and I'm never letting it go.
Isn't it just wonderful?