Living on borrowed light...

Feigned Peace.

~ We were now in his car on our way to Jen's, I in the front seat and she in the back. We talked about how long of a ride it would be to the market and Ted said it would be only about a ten minute drive. I was excited because this would be the first time I was out and around town other than the bar. Jen was out of her seat, and her arms wrapped around both of ours with her head poked in-between us. " Man this is my home town and even I haven't heard of this market, I'm stoked!" Even as excited as I was, I was still antsy. I couldn't shake the way he looked at me before, and the feelings that came with it. But now, he was talking as if nothing ever happened, did I really imagine it all? " Well I have to admit, I have only been there once myself, but I think you two will love it." Ted was smiling, he looked down at Jen then quickly at me before turning his eyes back on the road. His demeanor warm and back to normal. Clearing my throat I asked if there was going to be drinking involved tonight. " Of course there is! Can't have a good meal without a little booze, don't back down on me now nerd." Jen excited like a little kid was watching the road in-front of us, I swear she had ADHD, and a mild drinking problem. Ted now letting out a small laugh looked at me " She's right you know, you can't have steak without a little wine." Jen beamed " Wine? Well shit you are a fancy guy, I was thinking beer." He laughed, taking the compliment. Once again turning his attention to the road. Sighing I playfully nudged Jen. " I swear you're corrupting me." She looked at me with a smile. " Well duh, took you this long to notice? You gotta liiiive, not just walk around everyday simply surviving. Besides, you can't be that shell shocked after last night, it was great, and now we've made a wonderful new friend!" She placed her hand on Ted's shoulder, then finally went back to her seat. Ted looked at Jen through the rear view mirror then back at me with a grin. " And so it is." He looked proud when he said that. It made me feel warm, slightly subduing my nerves for a moment, I smiled at him, " Thank you Ted, for everything." He responded without looking at me this time. " Don't thank me yet, there's still a chance I could ruin this dinner." We all laughed, and finally arrived at Jen's house. " Be right back!" And with that she jumped out of the car, running up her stairs into her house shutting the door behind her. But as soon as she left there it was again, that static, tension thick in the air. Ted looked at me, " Do you have a preference in regards to wine?" he was smiling warmly. I pondered for a moment, " Well, I remember one time having a sip of my grandpa's wine, it was red and it was good, but I've never actually had a full glass before." Running the back of his fingers along his chin with his elbow resting on the door, he was thinking. " Hmmm... Well, since you know you liked the red we will go with that. Pairs well with steak anyway." with a smile I responded. "Okay, sounds great."  I rested my head back on the seat, looking him over. Wondering why I was feeling this way and what exactly this feeling was. He was looking at me too, his brow slightly furrowed. " Something on your mind, Autumn?" hearing him use my name for the first time, my heart skipped a beat. I was searching him, trying to read his face, not sure if I should say what I wanted to say, I wanted to tell him how he made me feel nervous,and that I didn't know why. I opened my mouth to try, but the words wouldn't come out. He looked down now at his hands and smiled. " You know Autumn... I know you may not realize it, because it's all new to you...But those feelings you're feeling right now when you look at me... It's called attraction. There are endorphins being released in your brain, and I can imagine because you've never felt this way, that It must be very difficult and foreign to you. Perhaps even unbearable." My blood went cold and my face went hot. He was looking back at me now with those same cold eyes as before, like he wanted to devour me. My voice shaking I whispered. " I'm... I'm sorry, Ted... What do you mean?" He was leaning over towards me now, softly moving my hair off of my neck on the side closest to him, and laced his fingers within the hair at the base of my neck on the opposite side, he positioned his mouth right by my ear, the warmth of his breath on me as he whispered. " No need to be sorry... But I must tell you, It's been written all over your face since we first bumped into each other on that dance floor, you don't hide your emotions very well..." He let out a soft chuckle "And Autumn... That sensation in between your legs, that warmth? The tingling in your stomach and chest too? That's because you want me to touch you, and if I were to slip my fingers down beneath your panties, I bet you'd be wet." As he talked, his voice got progressively lower in tone, by the final words he spoke, they were mixed with a deep breathy rumbled. My mouth hung open in shock, my eyes wide, and my skin covered in goosebumps. How could he know me better than I knew myself, how could he just read me like this? And now since he had brought my attention to in-between my legs I realized he was right... I was hot, and wet, I could feel it. I felt his lips land on the soft skin of my neck, his mouth felt like damp fire. Without any control I tilted my head back, and moaned his name breathlessly. For the first time ever, I heard myself moan... Oh god I was so embarrassed, but as unbearable as this feeling was I found myself wanting more, that's when I saw Jen walk out the door. Now backing away from me, Ted was smiling, smiling like he just got away murder. It was a smile that made me ache and my heart flutter. Resting his hand on the steering wheel he went back to acting like nothing happen. How?! How was he able to just switch like that! I was squirming in my seat, every nerve in my body firing, my skin felt like I was sitting beside a bond fire, and my breathing was uneven. It took every ounce of strength in me to act normal when Jen hopped back in the car. I rested the side of my face in my hand near the cold window, anything to feel something cool on my now burnt face. My legs were shaking, and I couldn't make them stop. Ted looked down, noticing my condition, giving me a sly smile before returning to normal and looking back at Jen. " Did you find what you were looking for?" Jen happy as ever responded. " Sure did, and I brought a surprise!" She had brought two cases of beer with her, but now in her hands, was a bag of pot. She flicked it down, unrolling it to showcase the green sticky looking buds within the plastic sandwich bag. Ted's eyes lit up, " Well then, looks like we have quite the night ahead of us." Laughing Jen rested her hand on my arm. " Hey you good? You're a little quiet." I looked at her hoping she couldn't tell how I was feeling. "And your face is flushed, don't you start getting sick on me now." I looked back at her with a smile, feeling as though the whole world knew what just happened. Ted looked over at me, with those sharp eyes for a quick moment, then he began backing out of Jen's driveway. " No no, I'm fine, just overheating a bit." Jen satisfied with my answer, and not worried for a moment sat back in her seat. " Well as long as you're not bailing on our grande plans!" With me feeling a fire inside my body, and the source beside me, off we went.