Living on borrowed light...

Thinning of the veil.

~ Having finished everything but the lobster, we all had decided to save the best for last. Jen was now talking to her lobster like she did earlier, before Ted had snatched it from her hands. " Oh my wonderful boyfriend, you are going to make my belly so happy." I smiled watching her play with her food. " Geeze Jen, you're like a weird little kid sometimes you know that?" She looked up at me and smiled. "C'mon, you know you wouldn't have it any other way!" I laughed. "Of course not." Ted now picking up his own lobster, pipped up. " So, if that crustacean there is your boyfriend, would this be considered a strange form of cannibalism?" Jen acted offended. " Are you saying I'm crabby?!" We all laughed. Now finishing my last sip of wine I picked up the cracking utensils from the middle of the table. " So uh, how should I tackle my delicious little friend here?" Jen looked at me with a mischievous smile, when she suddenly, and savagely ripped the tail off hers. Me and Ted looked at her like a monster, playfully of course. " Well then, remind me to never get on your bad side." Ted having a playful jab at her was now motioning for me to watch him. He began ripping the tail off gently and was grabbing the set of culinary scissors from where the other utensils had been. " So Autumn, when you have the tail off, you want to cut at the base, underneath and down the middle of the little legs here." Within no time he had shown me exactly what to do with the tail and claws. Having finally figured it out, pulling out the claw meat, I now held up the tail meat victoriously. " Yes! Victory is mine." Jen snickered. " Yeah and you managed to do it without falling over and breaking an ankle." I gasped and threw a little lobster leg at her. " Ruuude." She put here hands up trying not to get pelted with the leg. " Listen I'm all about family get together's and all, but I don't think lobby here wants his mother over for dinner right now while hes exposed like this, or should I say, a piece of her." Ted spoke half laughing."The antics of you two never cease to amaze me." Jen stuck her tongue out at him. Enjoying the last of our lobster Ted looked at me in thought for a moment, then finally spoke. "So Autumn, now that that It seems I'm going to be a permanent facet in your life. Tell me more about you, your parents, upbringing, interests, and things of the like. " Chewing my lobster, I quickly looked at Jen, her lobster still in her hand. " Well, you may as well tell him everything nerd. Like he said, hes a part of your life now it seems. So he ought to know what makes you, you." I swallowed my food. " Jen... Everything?" She nodded. " Yeah, everything. I personally think its essential he knows." Sighing I looked down at my plate, not knowing how to word things in a delicate way. I looked back up at Ted, feeling nervous. " Well..." I cleared my throat. " There's no soft way of saying these things so I'll just say them." Ted was watching me closely, I could tell he was reading me again, but his eyes weren't as sharp this time. I looked over at Jen, now feeling slightly queasy, she gave me a supportive look. " Okay, So... I grew up in Canada, far up north. When I was born, my biological father used to do a lot of drugs, he actually missed my birth because he was high. He would beat my mother a lot, there was many times he almost killed her and me as well. Eventually she left him. Around the age of three she met a man who became my step father." Feeling my hands shake and my heart racing I looked at Jen as I talked now. It made it easier. " We lived on a farm, in a very very small logging town. My mom would work real late with our horses, letting the tourists come and ride them. During those times I'd be home without her. My step father took it to his advantage, long story short he abused me, pretty badly until finally my mom divorced him when I was twelve, and then we moved to the city." I looked back at Ted now, he had put down his utensil and was looking at me intensely. " Because my mom left my father when I was so young I never met him, or, remember him rather. My mother on the other hand, was always distant. I was and still am the black sheep of the family. I'm pretty sure she see's me as a burden, but it doesn't really matter because over the years I began to heal and find my own way. Then I met Jen when I was in grade 9, been my best friend ever since and shes all I've really needed. " I was looking at her now smiling and she the same. " So other than all that dark stuff, I got really into art, science, and eventually I realized I wanted to help people, and I thought the best way of doing so was by being a nurse." I looked at Ted confidently now, and he was smiling. I sat back in my chair letting out a heavy breath. " I guess that's it really." Ted looking at me warmly spoke." Thank you, for being so open about your life, that must have been hard for you to talk about. I admire your strength. " I nodded, feeling my heart calm. That's when Jen jumped up. " Okay! now that the heavy shit is settled time for more beer, lets all go grab one and have a smoke outside, whaddya say peeps?" Me and Ted nodded, getting up we cleared our plates. We were all holding our bellies feeling stuffed. Having cleared my plate first I headed outside and waited for them on the porch. The night air was cool being that it was September. I took in a deep shaky breath, it was hard to think about my past, let a lone talk about it.. What did Ted think of me now? Should I have even said anything? Oh gosh... I sat on the step, looking at my hands and fiddling with my nails. That's when Ted opened the door and sat beside me with a box in his hand. I looked over at him, curious as to what he had in his hands." I know it might be too soon for you, but I want you to know that I'm giving this to you because I want to. So don't overthink it, just accept it." he now handed me the box, and urged for me to open it. " Ted.. What." He smiled. " Just open it." following what he said I opened it, peering inside. Within the box was something shiny that reflected the light from the porch light, I picked up the item inside. That's what I gasped, inside this box he gave me, was the silver and moonstone bracelet from the market. "Ted! Oh my god... How did you know, its so beautiful." I was looking it over in awe when he took it from my hand gently and began to slide it on my wrist. " Well... I had came around the corner and saw you two looking it over, I watched for awhile and could see how much you liked it. I had actually forgot the wine so I went back to go get it, and when I got back I could see you two heading to the car, which worked out perfectly so I just had to buy it for you." That's when I felt my face heat up, had he also heard our conversation then too? I whispered. "Ted... Thank you, so much." I could feel myself beginning to tear up, so I leaned over and hugged him tight, hoping he couldn't tell. He held me, one hand holding my back, and the other on the back of my head, he pulled me in tight against him. I could feel him nuzzle his face into my neck and hair when he whispered. " I don't understand how you could be so... Pure, and untouched. The men in Canada must have been utter morons." I laughed, enjoying the feeling of the warmth of his body against me. Still whispering I spoke. " Ted... Why are you so nice to me when you barely know me?" He pulled away now and looked at me. " Well, I don't know what it is... But there is something about you, something that is different than the other women I've experienced. You just seem so genuine." I smiled at him, which made the tears finally fall onto my cheeks. He wiped them away gently with his thumb. " Why are you crying Autumn?" I looked away feeling embarrassed. " I just haven't ever experienced this before. It's amazing, but kind of scary." He smiled softly. " Don't think so much, just enjoy the present moment. Worrying doesn't help anything in the end." That's when Jen opened the door and joined us on the step. " Sorry to deprave you two of my presence, I had to pee." She handed us both a smoke and lit her own. " Thanks for the info Jen." I laughed. " Sure, it's important information didn't you know?" Ted let his cigarette and handed me his lighter. Once again I tried to light it, but this time It actually worked . " Well look at you nerd, you did it this time." I smiled and lit my cigarette, blowing out the cloud of smoke feeling satisfied.