my bloody valentine | frerard ✓

if i could be with you tonight, i would sing you to sleep

「if i could be with you tonight, i would sing you to sleep」

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"frank, why don't you talk?", gerard asks. i look up from the tiled ground, into his eyes and away.

"i-i.. well..", i stammer, flipping through my imaginary dictionary to find the right words. "i j-just don't l-like talking.."

wow, great lie iero. 10/10, he would totally buy that

"oh.. well, i respect you and your thoughts. i understand why you wouldn't want to talk either way.", he shrugs, running a hand through his raven hair. "just as long as you don't mind my non-stop talking."

i'd listen to you all day gerard, i'm already melting at the sound of your velvet voice.

"i-i don't mind.. i like you..", he raises an eyebrow, i panic (at the disco). "y-YOUR PERSONALITY, YOU'RE VERY INterEsting!!"

good job frank, you nearly exposed yourself.

gerard only chuckles and smiles for the hundreth time today. oh my god, he is so damn adorable. he could stab me and i'd still love him.

"you're funny, i'm glad i met you."

fUCK, I CAN'T CONTAIN MY SMILE. OH, WHAT'S THIS?? BLOOD IS RUSHING UP MY VEINS AND TO MY CHEEKS??

can't you see what this boy has done to me?

we make our way to the plaza near our high school. gerard examines the many restaurants and bakeries, he then smiles and turns to face me.

"let's go to starbucks frank.", he then tugs my arm, dragging me into the coffee store, making my cheeks go beet red once again.

"o-okay, s-sounds rad.", i mumble before being welcomed by the fresh brewing smell of coffee.

"what do you want?", gerard asks me, my eyes flutter up to the menu. small white writing in cursive filled my eyes, i scan and shrug.

"a-anything will do gee'.", i respond, my cheeks turning red once more. he nods and tells me to find a seat for the both of us to sit at.

a few minutes later, i manage to find a window seat for two near these stereotypical white girls, obsessing over their pumpkin spice lattes and taking selfies with what people call "duckie-lips". makes me cringe to be honest, disgusting. and just ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

gerard comes back after five minutes, i've done nothing but scroll through my instagram explore page - which was filled with loads of 2005 concert images of my favourite band "your toxic despair". unfortunately, they broke up on june 11th, 2013, it makes me feel some sort of sadness but yet i can't feel anything.

gerard glances over to my screen. "hey frank, i got our drinks - oh, you like your toxic despair as well?"

my eyes widen, my heart flutters once again. "y-you've heard of th-them?"

"obviously. i love their song 'no thanks for the poison' or 'plague'.", he pauses as he takes a seat, placing the two cups of decaf coffee and iced coffee down on the tabletop. "well if you want honesty, i love all of their songs equally. what fan chooses a favourite??"

'i-i agree. i actually l-love 'the darkness in front of you' the best but i-it's so h-hard to choose ju-just one..", i say, my heart practically beating out of my chest.

c'mon frank, this is your favourite band you're talking about! you've never been so quiet and flustered talking about them! sound more passionate, or at least try..

gerard arthur way fucking loves your toxic despair as well!!

we spent the entire afternoon bonding over your toxic despair (and how we wanted them to have a reunion but we both respect them), discussing other 'bandoms' that we're in and i learned that gerard can sing beautifully. he's an angel, i like his voice, wish i could hear more of it. but woah, the difference between his singing voice and normal voice with that accent. oh my fucking god, i'd melt at the first syllable he'd sound out.

"want me to walk you home frankie?", he asks me, sipping his coffee.

"o-only i-if you have t-the time..", i respond, my eyes still dart the ground.

"i have all the time in the world frank. i will walk you home.", he exclaims with his warm smile, pretty damn cute.

we walk out of the plaza, past through school where the lights were still on. we walk past houses as the distant sound of cars driving by drown me in this weirdly aesthetic moment. i look to gerard, he looks to me and we both smile.

god, i haven't smiled so much ever since.. ever since mother left..

"hey , you're shivering..", gerard points out. i shake my head and try to push the feeling aside like i normally do, but it wouldn't allow me. my whole body was shaking, shivering in fear, am i even cold?

i feel winter on my hands.

everything is so cold.

the world is ugly.

is this what humans call.. pain?

one touch of something weighing on me, warmth flows through my veins. i'm hunched down, practically on my knees. a jacket, a black jacket to be exact is draping over my shoulders.

i look up. gerard no longer has his jacket on, instead, it's on me.

why?

"c'mon frank, let's take you home.", he says, helping me up.

"th-thank you gee'."

but you're beautiful to me.

for the first time ever, i've experienced love, pain, and comfort.

i can't afford to lose gerard to anyone or anything.

even if it means that i have to sacrifice myself to make him happy.