my bloody valentine | frerard ✓

my lovenote has gone flat

「my lovenote has gone flat」

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it's morning.

it's time for school.

i get to see gerard.

i slowly slip out of the covers, my feet exposed to the cold floor. my hands still feel as if snowflakes fell on them.

i scan the room. gerard's black sweater is dangling over the chair.

why is it dangling over the chair when it deserves to be folded neatly? gerard's jacket deserves more??

why do i care about the jacket anyway?

ah, right. it belongs to gerard.

how many times have i thought about gerard and his sweater within these 3 minutes?

i walk over to the chair and pick up the jacket, i bring it close to my chest and inhale the smell. it smells exactly like gerard's lavender deodorant.

okay frank, you're being creepy.

but being creepy and overly-obsessive is my thing so i can't argue with that.

what did happened last night?

i remember gee' walking me home but not what happened after that. he dropped me off and helped me with some stuff, i think? there's a possibility that i had a mental breakdown before he left and gee' noticed?

did he not leave me alone?

well, that's hella nice of him.

i'll ask him when i see him.

i look at my reflection, who is that boy i see? staring straight back at me? it's me, the emotionless teenager who no one notices.

i swear that all i ever do is roast myself.

yay, criticism.

i put on my plain dress shirt and the bloody red tie that came with the uniform, who thought of the idea of uniforms?? i mean, sure, everyone looks the same and in place. but you can never identify your friends, asides, everyone looks so bland and unoriginal.

i make my way out as i swing on gerard's jacket then gently close the door.

inhale negative thoughts, exhale all positivity circling in my system.

as if there's any positivity left in me.

man, i love depression.

i take the same path to school, my eyes see the same thing. families watching their child get on the bus, kids that walk to school with their friends, a family of three holding hands with their young infant. innocent child laughter lingers in the air, i pick up my walking pace to escape this prison of happiness.

all these children with loving families are really flexing on me.

i walk through the gates and now i'm on school ground. so many year two students pass by with their friend groups, they don't bother to say hello to their other friends.

why can't i fit in?

my eyes instantly shift over to a certain ebony haired male. obviously it's gerard way, the only friend i have.

my heart began to beat faster and faster. without thinking, my feet dragged me to where the male was, only to stop in my tracks when i see that lynz girl from yesterday.