BAD REPUTATION.

01

Judd Kidd

I wake up feeling a familiar feeling, smelling familiar smells and looking at a familiar ceiling. I know I'm at a hospital. I'm very familiar with hospitals.

Even my mother/ manager sitting by my bedside is expected.

What is not expected is the way she looks. She looks like a housewife who has just found out that her husband is cheating on her with a woman who he's always insisted is 'just a friend' from work. Bad hair , ashen teary face. She looks nothing like the Prada glasses , off the runway haute couture wearing person.

My mother prides herself on being always camera ready. Her worst fear is to be caught at a bad angle or have a photo of her looking out of proportion in the internet. All this has to do to do with wanting to show my father that she's still living her best single life- ever since they finalized their divorce- twelve years ago) .
That's not what I'm seeing right now. For one she's not wearing any makeup, jewelry and she  has a bad case of bad hair day , her face is ashen and teary face. She looks nothing like the Prada glasses , off the runway haute couture wearing manger/ mother i know.
Her always bone straight bob hair is tied back in a loose ponytail , with lots of it escaping from the ponytail. she's wearing a green cardigan and loose cotton pants. They are probably designer but still not an outfit she'd want to be caught in.

I make a few grunting noises as I try to adjust in the tiny hospital bed.
The noise alerts her that I'm awake.
The outfit was shocking, the shock of it all comes when she bursts into tears.

With no prior warning.

I mean, she's not so cold hearted that she can't shed tears, but we've been on this rodeo several times. The first time I was rushed to the emergency room because of an overdose she cried herself senseless. It was understandable.
It's a very scary experience to see your sixteen year old son with tubes sticking out of his body as doctors try to pump his stomach.
But ,this is like the fourth time- she usually just yells at me now.

"Judd! oh my God! You are finally awake!" She rushes to my side, ready to engulf me in a big hug but catches herself at the last moment when she sees the huge tube connected to the oxygen mask. She instead presses on the help button beside my bed.

Two nurses appear in my room so fast as if they were waiting on stand by.

"Hello Mr Judd, how are you feeling?" One nurse asks, smiling at me like we are long time lovers or she wants us to be future lovers.

"Tired." I grumble after she takes the mask off ,"when can I leave?"

"Soon Mr Judd Just rest for a little while. You've been through a rough week dear, take it easy and relax." She turns to my mother,"a doctor will be here talk to you."

The other nurse moves around my bed fluffing my pillow and making sure that I'm receiving the maximum comfort in the small hospital bed."Would you like some water or something to eat Mr Judd?" This nurse is not smiling at me like she wants us to have sex, she's smiling like she's pitying me.

"No ,I'd like you to leave me alone." I tell them irritability.

After ascertaining that I'm comfortable and everything I might need is within easy reach, they leave. Very reluctantly-because, let's be honest everyone wants to be around a superstar (even a rude one laying in a hospital bed wearing a white hospital gown).

My mind is still stuck on what nurse 'please defile' said. I've been at the hospital for a week. That's a long time. My previous stays have only lasted two to three days.

I try to collect my scattered brain cells so I can piece everything together.

Memories start flooding my mind. Cas and I hopping from one club to the next, loudly singing 'press press press Cardi don't need more press. Ding dong!' (we sang that part out loudly coz' we both agree she's the ultimate hot summer girl) in his neon green lamborghini and then..SHIT! Casper on my driveway vomiting, me trying to get to my front door..I turn to my mom.."Is Casper okay?"