BAD REPUTATION.

15

Judd Kidd

I have been reduced to a handy man.That's what I am now. A fucking handyman.

If Brandy Mae wants a handy man, then I'll be her handy man. I just hope she's ready to play with my tools...wink wink..nudge...nudge..boink...oink.

While I'm thinking these stupid thoughts, I'm standing in Brandy Mae's kitchen, staring at the kitchen sink and trying to figure out where the broken tap is because I know that thing wrapped up with all that black duct tape is not the tap that Brandy Mae send me here to fix.

Nope. That's not it.

I can't see any other tap, so this must be it. I start unwrapping.

"SHIT!!FUCK!" Without any warning ,cold ice cold water sprays all over me. One minute I was dry, now I'm dripping. "Shit!" Water is spraying everywhere,and like an idiot, I'm still frozen in the direct line of the spraying.

It takes laughter from Romeo to bring me back to my senses. I turn to find him and his mother standing at a safe distance by the kitchen door. From the way Brandy Mae is casually leaning at the door with her legs crossed at the ankles and the smug smile on her face,it's clear to see that she knew what was in store for me.

"Judd! You look funny!" Romeo is still laughing at me and pointing at my shorts which are clinging to my body. Thank God I didn't wake up with a boner because it would be kinda awkward to explain that to a kid.

Brandy Mae pushes from the door. "Rommy, go get duct the tape from the closet next to my room."

"I thought I made myself clear last night." From the change of her tone, I deduce that she's talking to me and she's so not happy with me.
I edge out of her way as she forcefully puts a pot over the tap to stop the water from splashing each and every direction.

"What is it that you made yourself clear about?" I ask, sweetness dripping from my voice.

"I told you to be gone by the time I woke up but you are still here and now you've made my kitchen a mess which I have to clean up." She says in a clipped voice.

"Hey, I'm sorry about all this. I didn't think that tap was really broken."

She leans against the fridge and gives me a disbelieving look, "So you just thought I had no better use of a roll of duct tape and decided to wrap up a perfectly working tap just for the heck of it!?"She throws her hands up.

Shaking water from my hair, I try to dazzle her with a smile."Okay, I'm sorry. I'll help you mop the floor."

She sighs deeply, "Just leave before Romeo comes back. I don't need anymore questions from him about you."She says to me and then, "Don't come into the kitchen!"She shouts to Romeo.

Said boy halts immediately, but its already too late. He's already stepping in water,no doubt wetting his onesie pajamas. He looks down, his eyes widening, "oh!" Romeo exclaims innocently.

Brandy Mae rubs her temples, exhales loudly and takes the tape from Romeo.
Not so gently, she smacks me on the chest with it. "Find a knife and cut long pieces for me. Make it quick!" She instructs.

I do as I'm told. I find a knife.

Brandy Mae removes the pot covering the tap and the only reason I'm spared from another wet shower is because she's the one getting it.

"Give me some tape!"She shouts to me and stretches one hand behind her.

I'm still working on trying to cut a functional piece. Every time I think I've got it, it somehow ends up in a tangled mess. I blame my shivering hands.That was some cold water!