Forget Me Not✔️

I Should Tell You

The movie ended and, despite Namjoon's distracting presence, you made it through the credits without any more...interruptions. The two of you headed out of the theater and towards the car. You had no idea where Namjoon planned to take you next, and he made no moves to tell you. But you had made a vow to yourself to talk to him after the movie and it seemed time was not on your side.

Climbing into the car, your expression became downcast once more and Namjoon was quick to notice as he started the engine and began to pull away from the parking lot.

"I hope you know, if there's something wrong, you can talk to me. Something's been bothering you, I can feel it." He said softly, glancing over at you as he drove. When you remained silent, he started to worry. "Is it...did I do something?" Your eyes widened, you had put it off for so long he was starting to think he had upset you.

"No! Of course not."

"Then what is it? Please, Y/N, it's killing me not knowing what's going on inside your beautiful mind."

You swallowed your empty throat. Would now be a good time? You hesitated and glanced out the window as the street lights sped by. The movie had lasted longer than you had realized, and by the time you left, night time had set in.

Namjoon didn't try to interrupt the silence, and you appreciated that he was giving you time to think. You could tell he was getting frustrated.

"I'm sorry." You said finally, looking over at him in the driver's seat. "I need to tell you something." You started off with a shaky breath. Bringing your hands together in your lap, you rung them together nervously. Your palms had started to sweat and it had made your fingers clammy to the touch. 

"So, the other night," you started to try and explain the thoughts that had been plaguing your mind, "Jimin sent me a text message asking if I wanted to hang out. I was at dinner with Nova at the time. He told me he was bored, so I asked if he wanted to join us." You struggled to get the words out as a lump formed in your throat. 

"Wednesday night?" Namjoon's brilliance shone through full force as he put the pieces together. The only time he hadn't been with Jimin was when he had apparently left early. You nodded even though he wasn't looking at you.

"Yeah." You looked over at Namjoon again to see his jaw clench in slight irritation.

"So that's what he ditched vocal lessons for, and why he didn't show up when we were supposed to be recording." He muttered. The light that had been shed on the situation didn't make him feel better obviously, because his grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles turned stark white.

"Yeah, I guess so. I didn't know he was supposed to be doing something else. He made it sound like he was free." You ran a hand through your hair, you were never intending to interfere with their work life.

Figuring that was what you had wanted to tell him about based on the guilt in your voice, Namjoon breathed deeply and visibly relaxed. "It's not your fault. He should have known better." Namjoon tried to say reassuringly. But he wasn't anticipating your next words.

"Yeah, I know." You rubbed the back of your neck, it seemed you had already picked up his nervous habit. He wanted you to see that Jimin's irresponsibility had nothing to do with you, but in your mind he couldn't be more wrong.

"Something...something else happened." You added, biting at your lip.

Namjoon's brow cocked further as he turned his head quickly to glance over at you before looking away, trying to keep his attention on the road.

"We had a few drinks at dinner and Nova ended up getting a bit drunk. And by a little, I mean she was hammered." Normally, thinking of your best friend slurring her words and making a fool out of herself made you laugh. But as the memory resurfaced, the guilt nearly suffocated you. You should have stopped her, you knew how she got. Maybe this was all your fault.

Had you only let Nova have one or two glasses of Soju, Jimin wouldn't have insisted on walking you home. He wouldn't have stayed, and ecstacy would be dancing in your chest instead of all-consuming stress. Ignorance is bliss and you wished more than anything that you had that kind of luxury right now.

"Jimin didn't do anything to her did he?!" Namjoon raised his voice and you jumped.

"What? No, no, no! Nothing like that." You rushed out, shaking your head. He would never.

"Y/N... Whatever it is, just tell me and put me out of my misery." Namjoon struggled to maintain his patience with you, and it was wearing thin.

You took a deep breath and released it after nodding. "Anyway, he helped me get Nova back to our hotel room and then he stayed to talk for a bit while Nova slept." You stared off into the distance, trying to find the words but also trying not to hesitate too long as Namjoon had tensed back up.

"Well, the conversation took a turn when he ended up telling me he has feelings for me." You got it all out in one breath, your voice thankfully sounding stronger than you felt. You didn't move, not wanting to look at the expression Namjoon might have had at that moment. "I told him was getting late and that maybe he should head home. I walked him to the door and...well, he kissed me."

Silence filled the car and it was deafening. Finally, you raised your head to see his face and was were with one that was seething with anger. The fire in his eyes burned and caused your eyes to widen.

He clamped his lips together and the fire was replaced with a steely resolve. All of a sudden, the car jolted to the left, making a U-turn on the road and heading in the opposite direction of which he had been going. The quick movement sent your body flying into your door and you winced as a small pain shot through your elbow.

His face gave nothing away and the usual carefree, fun loving man you had come to adore had been replaced with one who wore a blank mask. The only indication that there was life in him was the ice that had frozen the brown in his eyes, nearly turning the color black. You whispered his name, but you may as well not have. He didn't flinch, didn't smile, didn't move.

The speed of the car accelerated and with it, your heart. "That fucking bastard." A deep growl echoed in the space, shaking you to the core.

"Namjoon?" You tried again to reach him, bring him back to you. He seemed so far away from you now. "Where are we going?" But something told you that you knew the answer.

There was a brief pause before he replied gruffly "The dorms." He was never short with you, so his response made your heart sink.

You felt like you had to ask, "Why?"

He looked at you again with that same expression that was doused in pure unfiltered anger. Before he could hide them from you, emotions flashed in his eyes. Rage, betrayal, and genuine hurt. You had seen them in him before, the night he and Jimin had had that first argument. You had hoped to never see those things again, and here they were, back because of you.

You snapped out of your pity party as you quickly realized that he was attempting to go back to the dorms to confront Jimin. You had suspected this a few minutes ago, but now the scenario was playing out in your head, and it wasn't ending well.

"Namjoon, look at me. You should probably take a breath." You suggested softly, reaching across your seat to gently grab his arm.

He shrugged off your touch and your blood froze in your veins. You shook it off, he was upset and had every right to be. 

"Are you mad at me?" You meekly asked as he drove too quickly back to his apartment. In the back of your head, you couldn't help but notice the lack of cops. He would have been pulled over by now had you been in America. 

"No." He answered curtly. After a beat, he looked at you swiftly and his eyes softened a tiny bit. "But that asshole knew about us...I told him how much I...and he still pulled that shit!" He continued, raising his voice with each word.

"Namjoon, please think this over before you go back home and do something you'll regret." You were trying so hard to reason with him, but it seemed like your attempts were futile. You were talking to an unmovable mountain and your words fell on deaf ears. You'd never seen him like this before and, frankly, it scared you. People did reckless things when they were angry, even more so when they were hurt.

"I've thought it over, and I'm going to tell him exactly what I fucking think." But you weren't sure talking was on his mind. What had you done?