kiss me through the phone ☾max mills

43 | i love her

[ PART THREE ]
m a x

☾

" do you think she's okay? " i mutter, late that saturday evening. talia spins round on her chair and looks at me, " sadie. "
talia sighs, " i'd like to think so. she's a strong girl for sure, she'll be home before we know it "
i nod.
i'd like to say that i agreed with talia, but i didn't. sadie was growing even more fragile every visit and i couldn't quite pinpoint why. of course, my brain went to the only possible answer it could think of, her dad abusing her again. but it made me feel sick to my stomach and was a thought i didn't want to think of.
" do you think harvey would have liked her? " talia asks, placing herself next to me on the bed.
harvey.
the sound of his name pained me more than anything else.
he could've saved sadie.
i'm too pathetic to do anything.
sadie deserves the world and i can't give her that.
" do you think sadie's dad is abusing her again? " i blurt out, turning and looking at talia, my eyes flashing with mass amounts of concern.
" what makes you think that? " talia asks.
" i don't know! just every time she comes back from a visit she's changed, and not in a good way. she seems to be growing weaker than stronger and it just worries me. then i remember how poorly i use to treat her and....." i pause.
i refused to look away from talia and told myself i wasn't going to cry, even as my lips trembled and my shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down.
my dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears; hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief.
a lone tear traced down my cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened.
" hey, woah, max it's okay " talia says, embracing me into a comforting hug.
" i just feel like i'm not good enough, like she deserves way better. i've treated her so badly in the past and i feel like nothing i do will ever fix my mistakes. i love her, talia, but i don't want to ever hurt her again. " i sob.
" max, shhhhhh, it's okay. you're not going to. you love eachother. she loves you and you love her. any girl would be lucky to have you max. you know exactly how to treat a girl and it's so nice to see you happy after everything, " talia says, her tone soft and calming, " and i'm always here for you. if you ever need to talk about harvey or sadie, my doors wide open "
i stared deep into her ocean blue eyes as i cupped her cheek that was slowly turning red.
i smiled at her before slowly leaning in.
my other hand was shaking slightly, my mind was repeating the same sentence over and over," don't do this... don't do this. "
but the sound of my heart was beating so loudly I couldn't concentrate. it felt like it was going to explode.
the kiss came out of no where. one minute she was comforting me and the next our lips are connected, but not moving as perfect and in sync as mine and sadie's did.
and that's when everything went wrong.
8:53pm.
sadie burst through the door, calling, " surprise "
sounding so upbeat and happy, a tone in which she never uses on return from her dads.
me and talia jumped back, staring at sadie who was staring at us in utter disbelief, jaw hanging open.
" sadie it's no- " i begin, jumping up and running over to her, taking her hand in mine.
she pulls away, shaking her head in disgust, "..i......i..."
i turn to look back at talia who jumps up also, standing next to me. " sadie, liste- "
" no! " sadie exclaims. she looks at us both with utter hatred and upset, " go to hell! both of you "
she turns and runs down the stairs, leaving me and talia stood covered in guilt.

☾

5pm.

no sign of sadie.

5:20pm

still no sadie.

5:40pm

the breeze picked up, sending a chill
down my spine.
still no sadie.

6pm

i stood up and brushed myself
off. i think i underestimated how badly i hurt
her and how effected she must be by this.
i had the chance and i blew it.

just as i was about to leave, the loud squeak of the gate opening causes me to turn around.
walking towards me was the slim figure i knew so well.
sadie.

" i didn't think you were going to show " i smile, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly with my hand.
" that makes two of us " she replies, still not looking me in the eye.
the wave of guilt washes over me like water spilling from a dam. i felt so bad.
one second passed. two seconds passed. three seconds passed. guilt was eating and pestering me.
" look sadie, i'm really sorry " i say, hoping for a reply.
" you've said "
" sadie i'm going to try my best to fix this, i really am. i love you, i never stopped " i exclaim, sadie finally looking me in the eye. but not with the love and compassion i had hoped for, instead there was the same burning rage i saw in her eyes that one saturday night.
" then why did you do it max? cheating is a choice and doesn't happen by mistake. then hitting me? how can you hit me one day and claim to love me the next?! i'm not some side girl you can use and manipulate, you either want me or you don't. i will not be used! " sadie yells.
i nod.
i agreed.
i knew what she was saying was true.
" i don't know what came over me. but i want you sadie, " i begin, taking her hands in mine. she's hesitant to pull away, but doesn't, and that alone gave me the encouragement i needed to win her over once again.
" infact, i don't want you, i need you! you show me what's right and what's wrong and you're the only person capable of keeping me happy. being apart from you killed me and i know it was my own fault, and it's one i'll forever hold by my heart with regret so i never make the same mistakes again. so though it's hard to move past my mistakes, i own them, hold them as my own, and accept that what i've done was wrong. i need you. i crave your love. i only hope that by the time i'm done i can feel like i earned it. "
sadie looks at me, her look softening and a small smile appearing on her pale, freckled face.
" i think about you all the time, " i continue, do you ever think about me? "
there was some hesitation, without a doubt.
but the words that fell out of sadie's mouth i knew she meant, and they made me beyond happy.
" all the time. " she whispers.
and in that moment, it was as if the fire from the rapture above had set ablaze in both of our hearts.
our lips connected with such bliss, our bodies melting together as if we were never apart.

this was the girl i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
no doubt about it.
if harvey were here, i know he'd agree.
i love her and never want to be apart from her again.

THE END !