kiss me through the phone ☾max mills

31 | toxic

[ PART TWO ]
s a d i e

☾

1 month later

when max looked at me it was as if every ounce of breath was taken from my lungs, floating into the air like midnight smoke.
every time he kissed me it felt like the world stopped, leaving just the two of us to wander the earth together.
every time he held my face between his hands it felt like he was untying all of my knots and holding me for eternity in the arms I've grown so accustomed to.
this is what falling in love was like, a story you never want to end.
i never thought i'd find love and now that i have, i can't bare the thought of it coming to an end.
but it will.
soon max will realise just how much of a waste of space i am.
a screw up.
i'm toxic.
anyone who is even seen talking to me is downgraded and i can't bare seeing it happen to someone as amazing as max.
i don't know what he sees in me, or why he has stuck around for so long but he has, and i'll never understand his reasons.
" sadie come on! talia said we were all meeting at 3 and we're going to be late! " josh calls as i quickly tie the laces on my vans, " you sound like my mum "
josh rolls his eyes, " look i like talia, she seems nice, and you have max, who you're always overly excited to see, so hurry your ass up "
" ooooooh, you like her " i smirk, coming from behind the wall.
josh was rolling up our sleeping bags and hiding them behind the bin like we do everyday.
" shut up " he chuckles, " look sadie i know i said i'd give it a rest but i really don't see why you can't just be honest with max and tell him we have no where to stay, i mean, he said we could stay with him so it's not as if you're being needy and invading his privacy or whatever "
i sigh and lean up against the brick wall, " i would but i don't want him worrying about me and his parents wouldn't allow it anyway, now are we going or what? "
josh doesn't say another word, instead he sighs and begins walking.
" look josh, i'm sorry if i sound selfish- " i begin, but he cuts my sentence short and turns around abruptly to face me.
" yeah, sadie, you know you really do. just because you don't want your boyfriend worrying and pitying you doesn't mean i should suffer living on the streets too. this was meant to be an adventure away from the walkers, but right now, i'd rather be back there " he scowls, " but that doesn't matter, right? as long as you're happy then it's alright "
" don't make this sound like i'm the bad guy here! you could have easily told talia what was wrong and she would have happily taken you in, you know why that is? because you're a likeable person, josh. yeah, you may have been put up for adoption but before that you had a life, friends and a family. i get that your parents died but you haven't suffered the kind of things i have " i shout, which only adds to the burning rage that i could see was starting inside of josh.
" are you seriously comparing our lives right now? you know what sadie, i will tell talia. i can't stand being round you a second longer. you're toxic " josh says through gritted teeth, before turning back around and walking away.
i would have ran after him.
told him i'm sorry.
but why should i?
after all,
i'm toxic.

•••
filler chapter!!!
next charter will have a max and sadie thingy in and it should be up relatively soon i hope!!
i haven't updated in a while i knowwww
i've just had a lot going on that i'm not going to go into detail abt bc pErsonal stuff yk yk
bUTttTTt i have easter break now and ya girl has ideas for this story so watch out ;))))
toodles
- amelia