Holding on (Andy Biersack)

A Trip down Memory lane

(Jade's P.O.V)

What ..I really didn't want to talk about my past I didn't even know Andy well..okay maybe I did but he didn't know me.

I sighed and took a deep breath while closing my eyes for a second before I kept on walking..well here goes nothing.

"So I'll start from the beginning" I told Andy while walking along the beautiful alley." When I was a child I moved around a lot so I always tried not to make any friends so that I wouldn't have to miss them and that's where the depression started I guess.."Oh..fuck my voice almost cracked at this harmless sentence how would I be able to tell him the rest?

"And when I was about 12 years old we moved to Germany with my sister Cat too who used to live with our grandma instead of travelling around everywhere so I didn't know her well but we still had this kind of a weird twin telepathy thing which means that we talk at the same time a lot.She is really different from me so the kids in our class never believed that we were related to each other.Then they started getting really close to Cat and when they tried to talk to me I ignored them because I knew that we would move away soon anyways.I became more depressed cause of that and everyone hated me because I was so distanced from them and I liked things they didn't for example the music.Eventually it turned into bullying because I was so different and weird in their eyes so eventually I started cutting because I was depressed before and if you get bullied on top of that its hard not to give in and do self harm.Luckily or at least what I thought as luckily we moved to England when I was like fourteen so I could start over.Sadly Cat was in Germany with my dad still but we had contact so I guess it was okay."I almost broke down in tears just thinking about what I had to tell next..

"So school started and again the kids there were pretty friendly at first and they tried to communicate with me but they failed so after a while they let me be.Then the bullying started again and even though I tried to ignore it after some time it was too much so I got worse day by day.. When I was fourteen once I was in this changing room with this girl from my class and the others had already left so of was just us.But nothing really happened I left and headed home but the next day at school that girl had got reported missing and was found dead some days later.And the kids in my class just probably wanted to know the reason behind that so when they couldn't find any answers the just started blaming me for the murder."And I don't know anyone who can handle being blamed for a murder by your whole grade!"

I eventually became worse even health wise I started smoking relying out drugs.." My voice cracked and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore..Andy put his arms around my shoulders.

" You know you don't have to talk about that if you don't want to.."

I looked up in his godly blue eyes and wiped my own tears away before speaking up.

"No its okay.. It feels nice being able to talk about my problems for once."

Then I sighed and continued..

"So half a year of hell later I met this gay guy who always was there for me and so we became friends and he honestly was the most wonderful person I ever met he even got me out of the drug thing but I kept on smoking..So we were pretty close and a year later we made a trip to America because my parents wanted to move there together and probably stay there too.That was my biggest fear but I always tried to push my thoughts to the side and just enjoy our last time together and one day i was walking back to our holiday apartment when these guys were sitting on a bench in the park they were clearly drunk but they caught me and...I don't want to go into detail about that Andy but anyway later I was so full of regret that I was stupid enough to let that happen when I saw this pavilion staircase thing where I was with dean the first day we arrived there and I don't exactly know what I was thinking but I started to cut myself so badly and I wanted to die and I started feeling giddy when this guy came up to me and made me drop the blade and call dean to pick me up and we talked a lot and later dean came with some rental car  we had and we both drove home but on the way.."

My voice cracked again and I started talking quicker so I could finish the last sentences before breaking out in tears.

"It was snowing that time and so it was slippery so when a truck slid up infront of us dean had to turn the car around so we wouldn't get hit and we swayed off the road of and in case you were wondering dean was older that me so he could already drive.."I took a deep breath before I could continue" okay so we hit a post lamp and then I don't know what happened I passed out but I woke up in hospital and they told  me that dean died in the accident and.."I looked up at Andy who was staring at me wide eyed..

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A.N so another chappie!And if you could guess Andy was the guy at the stairs who talked to her and ..well we'll see if he noticed that too ..in the next chappie.

And again I'm sorry for the slow update but I've for exams coming up so I have to study a lot:(

So anyways stay beautiful my little Unicorns!

                              Monaxx