14 weeks.
14 weeks and you're nervous for all of the wrong reasons. Despite the fact that your energy seems to have returned and your appetite too, you just feel overwhelmed by all of the things happening around you.
Truthfully, you haven't seen N'Jadaka in a week or so, your schedules conflicting so much it's hard to find time to make it over there. And sure, your girls have been more than happy to run around with you to dentist appointments and doctors appointments at the hospital but you would like a hug from those thick arms to ease you into your second trimester.
Ramirez is already referring you to other doctors and giving you names of pediatricians and half of the anxiety comes from not knowing the people who are prodding at you anymore. All these talks of midwives and who will be in the room with you during labor has you freaked out and you just wish Ramirez could be there.
She says she'll try.
Ontop of it all, Christmas is in a week and you haven't told your parents (or anyone) the news. The only people who know definitively that you're going through with the pregnancy are Sydney, Kayla, and N'Jadaka.
But still, you're nervous as you pull into your parking space because the ultrasound tech at the hospital said she was able to tell the sex of your baby. You covered your ears as if she would blurt it out, and she slid you an envelope afterwards with a wink and a 'just in case.' It sits folded up in your purse, untouched, because you can't decide when to look. Kayla said you should look now, but Sydney thinks you should wait until Christmas and have a Reveal Party.
The idea makes you roll your eyes. Sure, you'll reveal it then but having all of that fanfare and party games and whatnot seems silly. They can save it for the baby shower they think they're planning without you.
But you can't forget the biggest stressor of them all; this meeting with T'Challa's mother that's looming above you like a big question mark. You haven't heard anything, and you're sure that if N'Jadaka has, he'd tell you. It's just now, it's hard to hide the fact that you're pregnant.
The pregnancy app on your phone says you should start an exercise regimen soon, maybe some walking, but you've had your eyes on a yoga class downtown that N'Jadaka will definitely make fun of you for. It's completely rational, you think, to be concerned with not being flexible enough. It also told you to sleep on your side soon and that's the hardest part of it all. If you can't sleep like you're freefalling through the earth with one leg hitched up and both arms under the pillows then what the hell is the point?
You let out a sigh as you slide your key into your apartment lock, breath hitching hard in your throat at the presence of N'Jadaka sleeping on your couch. He's sitting with his chin in his chest, arms folded tight with his legs spread open and it looks like the most uncomfortable position in the world. You can just feel the residual neck pain, which is funny because you could use a massage yourself.
He wakes up when you shut the door, exhaling sharply through his nose in a way that lets you know he was out for a while.
"Hey," you say, completely used to his popping up in your living quarters at this point. "Why didn't you just go in the room?"
Eyes still closed, he shrugs, looking angry as he lets his head rest onto the back of your couch. The stiffness of his body is beginning to make you ache so you tell him to come on as you begin shedding clothes. It's laundry day so you don't say anything about his outside clothes touching your sheets as he climbs into it wordlessly. He pulls you with him, wrapping his arms around you and putting you in that Safe Grip you needed all morning.
