〰 I don't have you here with me but least I have a memory 〰
- Yeah, I told ya.
Of course I'm right, I'm the one who put the police there, you fool.
- I don't trust in you but you helped us so I'll give you chance. -RM is not that scary, he just try to be. Guess we'll be friends now. - so you know a lot about us for what I saw but we don't know a thing about you, so who the fuck are you?
- The answer for all your problems but you call me Baby J.
We shacked hands. His hands were cold as his soul for sure. RM is young, only one year older then me but he killed more people then the number of his age. This is too easy just for letting me in like this.
- I don't want your word or your hand shake, I want a proof - he gave me his gun - there's a boy down stares. I want you to kill him. If you want to be with us as you say, just do it.
I have to do this but how can I do this? How can I kill someone? Can I come back home now? I just want to hold you.
As he said I went downstairs. I can't say really where I was but it looks like a old store. V and RM where following me. My heart was beating really fast I can hold it inside my chest.
When I saw the boy, I couldn't take it. He looks so much like you, baby. He looks like you.
He was tired down a wall, crying, he was so skinny.
- Stop looking at him and just do it. Or are you afraid? - I wanted to kill RM in that moment. His stupid smile, how can someone be this heartless?
- What has he done to be like this?
- You ask too many things. But he's a traitor. He think the cops where there because he said it to them, right your stupid thing?
RM has kicking the boy so much, he was crying so bad. He wanted to scream but they pain must be so hard that he couldn't even breath. It was the worse thing I ever watched in my life and it hurt more because I only could think about you, he looked so much like you, Jungkook. I felt even worse because he was suffering because of us. We were the ones who put the police there. He has done nothing but this is how life is. I wish you could have other life, baby. This is not life to you. I can't imagine you watching scenes like this too. I just can't.
- If you keep going you will kill him and then I have nothing to do.
Rm looked at me with his hands full of blood.
- You go then. Show us Baby J that you are able to be with us.
And then I did it. I killed him, baby. I'm such a bad person. I don't want to describe how it was to you. I don't want you to see me like this. This is not me. I'm not like this. I would never do this to someone, I hope you believe in me. I'm a good person, I promise.
- V, ask someone to clean all this shit. Make our guest feel comfortable. I know you can do that well, don't you honey?
What did that mean? I wish I didn't know. I looked at V and he had that smile again on his face. I was shaking again. He was so close to me, I was so scared. He toke the gun of my hand and throw it next to the body. His eyes never left mine. He toke my hand and guided me to a room. I know he felt I was shaking and afraid of him. I was even more when he looked the door.
- Don't need to be afraid, honey. I'm going to be good to you, I promise. - his smile, he way he looked at me was the most creepy thing I ever saw in my life.
I felt his hands on my back caressing them.
- You're so tense baby, just relax - his deep voice on my ear made my breath getting even faster. He made the way with his hands until my shoulders and started rubbing them slowly. - you're the most beautiful boy I ever saw in my life. - I closed my eyes feeling his breath on my neck. - I will take care of you, Baby. - he kissed the side of my neck.
Jungkook.
- No, just stop. - I turned at him and he was really close.
- Why? You loved it - his hands touched my chest but his eyes never left mine, again. He started open my shirt.
- I told you to stop - I tried to keep calm while taking his hands away of my body.
- I just want to take care of you - he hugged me and if kinda felt good. I hugged him back slowly. - I know you want me - he started kissing my neck again. - you deserve being treated well, you killed the boy as RM told you to.
Now I understand. - you're only doing this because he tells you to? Did you ever really loved someone, V?
He stopped hugging me and just looked at me. Now his eyes are empty, there's no smile too.
- I don't believe in love. There's only desire. People don't love each other, they just want things of each other. No one really loves anyone. - His eyes were on the ground, I know he doesn't believe in it. RM made him believe in that. But I will take it as my gun.
- That's not true. You want to know why I came here? - It was me getting close to him this time - I have seen you before. You are always following his orders and everything he says. I know you have a heart. A good one. I want to know you better, darling. I want - his cheeks where soft but nothing like yours. I feel like I'm betraying you. But I have to do this. I will always love you and only you. - let me show you what love his, pretty boy.
It's so easy to make people do what you want if you understand what's their weakness.
- You want me? - he was looking at me like a lonely puppy.
- All of you - I passed my finger on his lips. Not like yours, they are not that soft. I don't want to kiss him, how many mouths have his mouth kissed? I know that yours only had kiss mine and I hope it stills that way until I come home. But he kissed me. I closed my eyes but I only see you. I feel him but I only think about you. His hands are on my chest put I think about your hands touching my chest. My hands are on his back head but the hair I think about his your dark hair not his light brown. I felt his tongue on mine but I couldn't think about you because we never did that so I stopped the kiss.
- I did something wrong? Are you going to leave me? - he was almost crying.
- No, no. Of course not, I'll never leave you.
Lie. Lie. Lie. But I told the same lie to you. Guess I'm making the same mistakes all over again.
Feeling his body against mine in a hug again, I cried. I cried because I'm betraying you. I cried because I don't want him, I want you. I cried because I don't want his lips, I want yours. I cried because I don't want to protect him, I want to protect you. I cried because I don't want to love him, I want to love you Jungkook.
