〰 Hold on, I still need you. Come back, I still need you. Let me take your hand, I'll make it right. I swear to love you all my life. Hold on, I still need you. 〰
We were at the beach. The sky was blue, so blue. I hear the sea, I feel the water on my feet. You are here. We are alright. You called me.
- Jungkook-ah. - I looked at you, you are really here. - Let's go swim. - You smiled and toke my hand. I followed you. You were smiling but then you stopped, you pulled my hand to under the water. I was seeing you drown, I called you, my chest was beting too fast, I was calling you, you didn't listen to me, I couldn't reach you. You open your eyes, you were looking at me. And you called my name one last time.
Jungkook-ah.
I woke up sweating and I couldn't breath. Something is wrong, I feel it. Something is really wrong.
- Jimin! Jimin! - I started looking for you on your room, you weren't there. I looked everywhere.I listen to Yoongi in his office and I got in.
- CAN YOU TELL ME HOW JIMIN WAS KILLED UNDER OUR NOSES AND NOBODY SAW? HOW DID RM AND V ESCAPE WITH THE BODY? I HOPE YOU GIVE ME ANSWERS RIGHT NOW!
What? What did I hear? I will say that he was kidding but he was screaming and I was shaking. This can't be truth.
- Jimin what?
- Jungkook... - Hoseok came to me and toke my hand - come lets go outside.
- NO! I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what happened to Jimin! - I looked at Yoongi and he closed his eyes. He walked to me slowly.
- Jungkook, I don't know how to say this, this is hard for me too. - He toke my hands, Yoongi never touches me. - He's dead, Jungkook. RM killed him with a shoot. I'm sorry I didn't want this to happen, it's my fault I putted him in that mission, I'm sorry - Yoongi was crying too.
I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I couldn't accept this, not you. Not after what I told you. Gosh if I could turn back in time, why was I this stupid? Why didn't I enjoyed when you came, why did I treat you so bad?
- He's not coming back...never again. And I told him I didn't want him. - I looked at Hoseok but I couldn't see anything with the tears in my eyes. I can't put into words how I'm feeling right now. It's like nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing is fine, nothing is right.
- I have to go. I..I just have to go. - I let go of Yoongi and Hoseok. I don't know where I'm going but my body knows, he's going where there was me and you. Where there was only us. No world, no problems, just you and me. I open the door, I left my mind, I left everything rational behind me. The pain inside me toke my body, I don't have any control. I'm taking the baseball stick, I'm taking the alcohol, I'm taking a lighter. I take all the pain moved by my sadness and I destroyed it. The sound of the stick on the piano keys bring back our memories here but it doesn't make sense anymore. You are not here anymore, you will never be. This is will be just me. I'm taking the part of you away. I'm taking me away too.
Why was I so idiot to the point that send you away? How could I do this? I love you and I want you but I can't have you. I want you here with me but you'll never be back. I will never see you again, touch you again, feel you again. And that's my fault. You could be here right now, you could be here next to me now. You could. But you aren't. Because of me. I will never forgive myself. It's my fault, I do nothing right.
I set the rest of the piano on fire and watch it burn until the moment the fire alarm started to sound. Everyone came, they are trying to turn it off but I'm watching it burn. I'm watching us burn, I'm burning too. I'm dying just like you.
- Jungkook, come. Let's go, you can't be here. There's nothing more to see. Are you hurt?
- Am I hurt Hoseok? Do you want me to answer to that question?
- No, sorry bad use of words.
- Just leave me alright? I don't want to talk, I don't want to hear, I don't want to live.
- I know it hurts...
- You don't know a thing! You didn't were a jerk to your boyfriend for the last time of his life! You don't know a thing Hoseok! You don't know how it hurts!
I left the school, I have nothing with me, I don't need anything. What I need I can't have back. Well I can. If I die will we be together ever after? Forever together? I can say that I'm sorry and that I want you? Is that the way? Is that the way to reach you? At least I can try.
You died with a shoot, if I die the same way will we be together? I don't want to be here without you. Nothing is alright without you. I'm sorry that I couldn't see it before. But I see it now, I know it's not too late. I can find you, we can be together, just us. I know we can.
I open my locker and take my gun of it. I found that you were killed between my room and yours, did you came to me while I was sleeping? Is that why I had that dream? You were there and once again I didn't wanted you. If you had stay there with me, you would be alive this time. This is my fault. This is all my fault.
I toke the police tape and stopped the place where you were shot. I feel you. You were scared but you were thinking about me. I know that, I feel that. I'm thinking about you. I'm going to you.
- Just wait Jimin, I'm coming, I'm coming to you. - I pointed the gun to my heart and I turned the automatic mood. In 5 seconds we will be together again. In 4...3...2
- No Jungkook! - Yoongi pointed the gun to the wall in front of us and it shoot the wall.
- No, Yoongi! Let me do this we will be together, hyung please - I star crying in Yoongi's arms. He hold me against him.
- I lost him, I can't lose you too. I promised Jimin, I will take care of you. He wants you to live Jungkook. We will make this together, for him.
