〰 Every time we say goodbye Baby, it hurts 〰
One month ago.
One month ago I was waking you up, now I'm waking up on your bed. Your smell is almost gone, I try to put my nose into it so deep but your smell is not here anymore. Your bed is cold. Your room is now an empty space full of memories.
I'm not wishing you to come back anymore, I'm just wishing I could say that I love you one more time even if it is for the last time.
They don't let me participate in anything, they say I'm mentally down. I'm down in all the ways. I don't want to eat, it's not the food you make me. I just walk around this walls everyday hoping you open that door.
Today I let myself go to our room. It wasn't ours but it is ours. I sat in front of the piano. Do you remember this days too?
I remember coming here looking for you and you were playing. I still remember the song. I'm going to play it now for you, for us. In the memories of our moments.
We shouldn't had came here, we should had been asleep. Everyone was asleep. We came here every night and you teach me how to play this song, am I playing it well? I wish I could had play it to you one last time.
Our first kiss was here. You were my first kiss, you were my first everything. You were my first laugh in here, my first smile, my first love. And I promise you, you will be the only one. I can't imagine have someone that's not you.
Do you remember when you told me you loved me? You played our song and in the end I was looking at you, I was so in love with you, I never saw someone who could be that perfect. I was smiling, of course I was smiling. How not smile when you are a piece of art?
We stare at each other for a long time. I was thinking how beautiful you are. I'm like seeing you right now, your big cheeks, your black hair, your nose and you bite your lip.
You called my name and I was a little nervous. You were looking at me like you had something really important to say and it was. You pulled me to your lap, joined our foreheads and looked into my eyes. I was looking at your soul and you were looking at mine.
You said it, you said the three words that nobody ever told me. I should had tell it too because I love you too. But I was afraid, I was shocked, I was stupid. I hope you know that I loved you at that time too. I just hide my face on your chest, I was so embarrassed but happy.
Feeling your arms around me was one of the best feelings ever. For the first time I was the one kissing you first. You leaned on me and my back touched the piano's keys. We laugh, we were so silly. I was so silly for you.
Now that you're gone I don't feel like a baby anymore. I don't feel like I have someone to caress me, to take care of me. In this last month I'm growing up alone. I'm doing my best without having you saying that you're proud of me. Sometimes I let myself thinking what you will say if you were here. What would you do, where will we be going. Now I'm used that you're not here. Maybe you are with someone else. I just hope that you are happy wherever you are. I just hope you won't forget me.
With this thoughts the song ended and someone was clapping. It was Yoongi, we are much closer now. He's cool even if he's my superior.
- You played really well Jungkook.
He never smiles so I was surprised when a little one came on his lips.
- Thank you, it was Jimin who tough me.
I was playing with my hands, it still hurts talking about you.
- How are you?
He sat next to me, I know he's taking care of me but he's not you.
- I'm better now, it doesn't hurt less but it's getting easier to deal with this pain.
It was the truth.
- I'm proud of you, one month ago your behavior was like a six year old. Now you're taking care of the things like an adult.
He slapped my back softly. I guess I'm proud of myself too.
- When Jimin was here he toke care of me and all his worries, made me feel like I was protected. He always made me feel like I'm his baby.
- And you are, he loves you a lot. He had some experiences in the past that's why he wanted to protect you with everything he had. He knew you didn't had someone to love you so he was so soft. It's good you are growing up. I'm sure he will be proud of you.
Yoongi was smiling again. This is weird. I never saw this man smiling, never.
- Do you think he will come back?
- He will come back right before you think.
- You know anything about him? I promise I will not tell anyone. I just miss him and wish I knew something about him.
- I have a photo of him when he left. He's a little different of what he was here but I'm sure he will like that you see.
When I saw you my heart stopped working. You were blond. Gosh you were even hotter then I thought you ever could get. You had a piercing on your ear and on your lower lip. I was biting my lip and I only knew I was doing it when I tasted blood in my mouth. I miss you, I miss you so much. I want to touch your hair, I want to know how does the blood hair feel on my hands. I want to lick your lips, I want to have the taste of that piercing agains my warm tongue. I want you here.
- Are you fine?
- Yes, I am. I just wasn't expecting him to look like this.
- Ah and he was a tattoo now too.
What? You? With a tattoo?
- I need to see it, like a real tattoo?
How was I expecting to believe in that? You? With a tattoo? Like forever? I hope you choose a good one.
When I saw it by Yoongi's phone I was going to fall right there. How could you? Are you out of your mind? I couldn't hold my tears. You must love me that much for make this a permanent thing on your body.
- He loves me...
- More then anything, Jungkook.
