RETURN MY LOVE PLEASE

8

Just forget about Gon.
Forget Gon?

I pressed my forehead on my knees and let my breath return to normal.

Can I forget Gon?

How?

Maybe Leorio is right.  I should just forget about Gon.

I lifted my head and laughed at myself.  What am I thinking?

He's my bestfriend!  My love! My life!

How can I forget Gon?!  I even gave up my own family for him.

Damn it's cold.  I turned around and found that the air conditioner is on.

I turned it off and went back to bed.

I found a picture frame on the top of a wooden shelf.  I reached for it and it's all dusty. 

I wiped it with my shirt and when it became clear it was Leorio making a big smile and on the left is Gon making a weird face and me having a grumpy face.

Wow.  I didn't know Leorio printed this.  Maybe it's because of Kurapika on his right making a scared face.

I locked my eyes on Gon. He's really handsome. 

I stroked the tip of my fingers on his face on the frame, lifted it and kissed him. 

Oh gosh!  What the heck! I felt my face became hot. 
What am I doing?! 

Fuck it!  This is so Gay!

You're shameful Killua!

I slapped my face two times.

Geez!

I looked at Gon and noticed saliva on his face! I hurriedly wiped my saliva off.  Damn I gave him a wet kiss!  I gave a picture frame a wet kiss! 

What's wrong with me?!

I returned the picture and went sat on my bed. 

I really should stop doing things like that.

I hit my head again as I remembered what happened last week when I was jerking off calling Gons name and Leorio caught me. 

Man! I wished I was dead there!

I slumped my body on the bed and closed my eyes.

I'm starting to get sleepy.

-Kurapika's gonna visit tomorrow-

I popped my eyes fast as I remembered that Kurapika's coming here tomorrow.

No.

He's gonna get me and Gon meet. I can't meet Gon. 

I've got to leave nkw or It'll be too late tomorrow.

I walked and grabbed a piece of paper inside a small drawer and a pen.

     Hey,  I realized that if Kurapika's gonna visit he'll definitely found out and get Gon and me meet and I can't meet Gon yet.  Thanks for feeding me and letting me stay here Leorio, and thanks for your nagging and advice also.  Please don't tell them that I stayed here with you.  Please. I don't want Gon to find out.  And if you meet Gon pretend that you don't know anything about this drama. Please watch Gon for me.

I placed the letter on my bed and read it twice before I get out.  I noticed the light under the door in Leorios room still open. What a busy guy.

I tiptoed to reach the front door and good thing he didn't notice.  I opened the door slowly to not let a creaking sound.  I slipped myself out successfully and said goodbye and thank you to the front door.

Crazy.

I moved my eyeballs to look at my surroundings.  Its dark but not too dark, there are little stars in the sky and a moon hidden by a single thick cloud.

I'm going away for a while, away from all of them. 

I guess this is better not letting them or anyone know where I am going.

I don't know where I'm going but I can manage. 

I stepped and Gon entered my head crying.

No. I can't leave Gon alone. 

I don't wanna go away. I dont wanna leave!

I started to turn the door knob to go back but it's locked. 

Why is this locked? Is it broken?

I desisted and think for a second.

It really wants me to go away.  Maybe it really wants me to go away.  Maybe it'll be for a good thing?  Maybe it'll help me.

Help me what?

Move on?

Forget about Gon?

I let out a sigh. And started to walk away.  I'm sorry Gon I couldn't keep my promise back then for not leaving you. I'm sorry.  But one thing's for sure that I will always keep. I will always love you.

I stopped and looked at the moon. I let out a deep sigh to hold back my tears.

"I'm gonna miss you guys for sure."

I lifted my head to feel the cold breeze in my face and started to walk again.

Wow.
This feels lonely.

...