Just A Suicidal Flower

a deserving daffodil

i deserved all of it.
i deserved everything that happened.
that's what you taught me.
you taught me
to hate myself to the point
where i covered up my mirrors
just so i couldn't see myself.
you taught me
to ignore people to the point
where i denied movie invites
just so i could text you.
you taught me
to despise my parents to the point
where i would lock myself in my room
just to get away from family dinners.
you taught me
to not care to the point
where i would shrug off low grades
just to please you.
you taught me
to not sleep to the point
where the bags under my eyes looked normal
just to talk to you.

i deserved all of it.

i deserve to be dead.

i deserve to not live anymore.

i've caused too many people too much pain.

i've cause myself too much pain.

i can't live with myself- no one can.

i deserve
to be punished.