a sleepy snapdragon

28 3 0
                                    

it's been a couple months since you broke me.
i don't tell anyone how i really feel anymore,
because i believe that they think
i should be
over it by now.
i think that i should be over it now.
i have a couple friends whom i've told
and who sympathize with me
who are very angry towards you
who are annoyed with me
annoyed that i didn't do anything
annoyed that i don't do anything now
annoyed with me.
i'm tired of being a nuisance.
i'm tired of being annoying.
i'm tired of being scared of you-
afraid you'll touch me like you did once;
afraid you'll yell at me like you did once;
afraid you'll look at me like you did once-
afraid of people who judge me when i start having a panic attack in our class because you accidentally touched me
afraid of my friends who get annoyed when i say i can't talk to the teacher and ask to move away from you
afraid of loved ones who get annoyed or upset or guilty when i tell them that i can't accept that they care for me because of how much you broke me.
i'm afraid
and tired.
just.
tired.

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