Thy Letters

Ch 10 ~ Ranting to myself

A/N

I haven't updated in like a year. So sorry for that.

And I edited all the chapters. Added some more details, but you can read on without rereading the earlier chapters.

So here's the next chapter.

Enjoy!

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Ch 10 ~ Ranting to myself

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"So, were you so busy yesterday that you couldn't call me after your date?"

I stop and step in front of Natalie. "Common Natalie. You know me."

"Yeah right....but a single call. You had me worried so bad, I almost didn't sleep the whole night. And then on Sunday I was going to come over but my parents dragged me over to my sister's house." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah....almost." I cross my arms."It's the key word. And now if you're through with your tantrums would you like to listen to what I have to tell you.?"

"What?" She says trying to sound uninterested.

"It's about my date....." I trailed off into my thoughts thinking about last night.

"Oh my god....." Natalie said loudly. And I jumped at her loudness.

"What happened?" I asked her in a worried tone.

"You're completely smothered "

I turn around to hide my face. "No I'm not."

She raises an eyebrow.

"But I had a good time." I admit.

"Good." She smiles.

"Actually the best I've had in a long, long time."

"Ahaan. Did you kiss?" She wiggles her eyebrows.

I widen my eyes. "On the first date?"

"Yeah. Wrong question. So not you."

"Right. We just saw a movie, had hamburgers and then we-" I stop myself. Thinking how Nat would react if I told her.

"Then what?" She asks, furrowing her head.

"And then she took me to this place you both used to hang out at." Noah appeared out of the blue to stand beside Natalie.

"What place?" She asks him in confusion.

"What was it called again?" He thought for a second. "The climb right?"

I nod. Nat presses her lips into a thin line. "You took him to the climb?" I can feel her anger rising.

"Ahaan. I..I..I was just showing him around." I stutter.

Noah looks at Nat, clearly confused as to why she is angry.

"I need to go to my next class. Bye Noah! I'll see you later." Before he can say anything, I speed walk away from them.

Nat follows me to the class and stops me outside. "Jessie. Look at me." She pulls my face up to look at her. But I look back down.

"I couldn't help it."

"When I said that you need to move on, I didn't infer that you use Noah as a rebound."

"I'm not using him as a rebound." I look into her eyes.

"You're only going to hurt yourself again. And him too. And I know you don't want to do that."

I bite my lip and look around. "I don't."

I know I shouldn't have taken him there. It just opened old wounds. "I'll talk to you later."

I head into the class and take my seat. Nat stands at the door till the bell rings and then leaves.

And I'm left to my own means. I take out my notebook and start doodling in a corner of the page. I think about everything during the class. The teachers voice fades into the background.

I know I don't want to use Noah as a rebound. But what if I am? At the same time Aaron and I were never in a relationship, so how can I possibly be using Noah as a rebound. I'm simply moving on.

But in order to do that I need to clear my thoughts. Put my feelings for Aaron aside for sometime and see where it takes me. I know now that I can't repair the friendship that I once had with Aaron.

It's been too long to go back now.

But I do need closure. And I have no idea how I can get that. If only there was a way I could talk to him.

I just can't go up to him and be like. 'Hey Aaron. Long time no see. By the way, I just wanted to ask you why you rejected me.'

That would be weird. And uncomfortable for both of us. And awkward. Very awkward. The anxiety would kill me. I might as well kill myself with this pencil right now.

But I already know why he did what he did. I'm wasn't his type. I was his socially awkward, introvert best friend.

But then again, we were best of friends. For ten years. We could have sorted it out by talking. But we didn't.

Sometimes I wonder - what if our whole friendship had been a lie?

There are so many unanswered questions on my mind. And they need answering.

Probably now is not the time. I know it'll come. Maybe tomorrow or next week or after two months. Or five years maybe.

I think it's time to put a lime light on the good things in my life and move out of the shadows.

I have parents, who adore me. A best friend, who understands me and supports me.

What more could I possibly ask for? I just need to learn to be happy with what I have. It'll be hard, but it isn't impossible.

By the time I stop ranting in my head, there are only a few minutes left till the end of the period.

But just when I thought things would get better, they only got more complicated.

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