Chapter 1

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    All the lights are off when I get home from work.  I stick my key into the key hole of the door and hold my breath.  Placing my keys in the bowl on the table by the door, I kick off my shoes.  I can already hear the sound of some game playing loudly in the living room.  I don't know what game or sport it is for that matter.  I walk into the living room to find exactly what I had dreaded.  He was sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the only empty spot on the coffee table.  There are beer bottles, empty chip bags, pizza boxes, crumbs, and just plain filth everywhere. The living room was a cloud of smoke from weed and cigarettes. I had stayed up late last night cleaning a mess very similar to this one.  I leaned against the entryway and crossed my arms.  Sometimes I feel like giving up.  I had a brutal shift at the bar tonight, and all I wanted was to take a hot shower and crawl in bed.  "Just a little longer." I keep telling myself.

    Blaze and his friends haven't noticed that I'm standing here yet.  I quietly walk down the hall to take a shower.  I can't deal with all of their loud voices and perverted mouths right now, I had enough of that at work tonight.  I get a pair of fuzzy pajama pants and a tank top from my room before heading to the bathroom.  I adjust the water, and begin to undress.  I step into the shower letting the hot water pour over my body, rinsing the spilled beer and stale cigarette smoke from my hair. 

    My thoughts went straight to Kade and my family back home.  I wonder what he's been doing since I left.  I can't wait to finish college and get my photography degree, so when I go home in a few months they will see I've done well for myself.  I've been fortunate enough to do most of my courses online.  My professor says I have an eye like he's never seen.  I am top of my class and have already sold several pieces for a hefty profit to advertising companies.  The thing about my profession is I can work from anywhere.  You can turn the simplest things into the biggest works of art. 

    Since I've left my home town, at the age of 17, I've held two full time jobs and worked on my degree.  I graduated high school before my peers because I got all of credits done early.  I wanted to prove my mother wrong.  She always told me I would end up pregnant and not finish high school.  I was a good kid.  I had only slept with my boyfriend, who I had planned on spending the rest of my life with.  I wasn't allowed to go out like other kids my age were, and honestly I really didn't mind because I liked to stay home.  Give me my camera and the outdoors and I'm happy.  Until one day everything changed.  

    Kade was the type of man I still dream of.  He was the kind of guy that brings you your favorite flower for no reason at all.  He actually listened to the things that bothered you, and then tried to help you figure out what to do next.  He held the door open for you and gave you his coat if you were cold.  He was tall, with broad shoulders, and a smile that could stop your heart from beating.   All of my friends and family loved him.  I loved him with every fiber in my body.  He was a couple years older than me.  He never complained about not being able to take me out on dates, but I could tell it bothered him.  I was selfish and kept the feeling of him being unhappy pushed as far from my mind as I could.  What is enough for you isn't always enough for the other person.

    One rainy afternoon I was laying on the couch in my parents living room watching a movie.  I kept thinking about Kade.  We were on spring break from school and he had started a new job.  I hadn't seen him all week.  My aunt comes running into the living room to tell my parents that my cousin Veronica was engaged and having a baby.  This was a shock to all of us because Veronica wasn't the type you marry.  She was the type you had drunken mistakes with.  Veronica was 20, but usually liked younger men.

"Well, that's a pleasant surprise.  Who's the lucky guy?"  My dad tried to hide the sarcasm in his voice so he didn't hurt his sister's feelings.

"She actually got a good one!  Kade Parker!  He proposed to her this morning!"  Aunt Brit said full of excitement.  My Kade Parker...

   The next week I turned in everything I needed to graduate early, packed my bags, and went to live with my Uncle three hours away.  I haven't spoke to Kade or Veronica in almost 4 years.  I do talk to Veronica's brother, Zander, and our other cousin, Cameron, and my best friend Aspen at least once a week.  Aspen is dating Cameron now. Zander, Cameron, and Aspen are the same age as me.  We are very close,  we were in the same class every year up until high school.  They can't wait for me to move back. 

    After the water became cold, I shut it off and grab my towel.  I feel a lot better with my smooth legs, and my hair smelling of coconut.  I might actually be ready to tackle the mess in the living room before I head to bed.  I hope they are all about ready to leave.

After getting dressed, I open the bathroom door. I peer into the hall. I don't hear the t.v. or hear laughter. I hope Blaze is in bed. I've been avoiding him all week because he's been different. I feel he's trying to cross the friends with benefits line. I don't want things to get weird now, right before I'm about to move back home.

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