Tough as Nails

Chapter 31

We spent the day walking through nature. Gauge brought his fishing pole and tried a few spots. I took pictures of him with his catches. He seemed so carefree and young these last couple of days. This was proof of how stressful his job was. I loved this side of him. I could definitely see myself not being able to get enough of him. I cared deeply for him before, but now I care even more. I feels different, but not very different. It's hard to explain.

Is it really different or is my mind not clouded by Kade now?  I still love Kade, we have so much history. But the feelings I have realized I have for Gauge are new and exciting. It's not comfortable like with Kade. Is it possible to love two people at once? Surely not... And why did I not think of Kade at all when we kissed?

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Gauge asked breaking me from my thoughts.

"How relaxed and carefree you have been. I like it. It's a very good look on you." I smile. He makes me feel happy when I should be sad over Kade.

    "Oh yeah? I do love it here.  It's a beautiful place and the company is pretty great."  He smiled.

    "To bad you have to leave tomorrow."  I said looking down picking at my fingernails.

    "I'm sure you have to get back to work.  I need to get those papers back to the office."

    "I have been working."  I laughed. "I did some pretty good work, too."

    "I have a responsibility to a lot of people."  He released a breath he had been holding.

    "I worry about you.  Your job is so dangerous.  Is that why you're not married?"

    "Well, I never planned on getting married once I became a cop.  It's my burden to bare alone."

    "What if someone wanted to help you carry your burden?"  I was curious.  My heart wanted to carry his burden.

    "I could not allow myself to ask someone to wait on me everyday when there is a fifty-fifty chance I won't make home."  He said shaking his head.

    "Have you ever thought about doing something else?"  I almost whispered.

    "Not until recently."  He said looking away quickly.

    "What would you want to do if you weren't a cop?"

    "I don't have a clue, but it would definitely be something around here."

    "Did you fall in love with the beautiful scenery?"  I joked.

    "I fell in love with something."  He mumbled.

    "What?"  I asked wondering if I heard him correctly.

    "I said... yeah, something like that."  I know that's  not what he said the first time.

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    We decided to eat dinner on the back deck.  The moon was large tonight and there was no cloud cover.  It was beautiful.  It was very romantic.  There was tension in the air.  Mine was caused by Gauge leaving in the morning.  I wished he could stay longer.  I think he liked being here.

    "Where did you learn how to grill like that?  That was the best steak I've ever had."  Gauge asked.

    "The women do the grilling in my family."  I smiled clearing our plates.  "Would you like a beer?"

    "Yes please."  

    When I returned with our drinks, he had moved from the table to the bench.  He had his feet propped up on the small table in front of the bench.  I sat beside him in silence staring at the stars.  After a little while he put his arm around me pulling me closer.  I laid my head on his chest as he rubbed my hair.   I looked up at him thinking he was falling asleep.