Summit

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The winds were cold like they must have been five years ago. Even bundled in my layers, I could feel the harsh bite of the hungry frost. I pressed on. I had to. My legs felt heavy in the snow and I lost the feeling in my fingers long ago. All I wanted to lay down and rest. Close my eyes for just a few minutes and regain my strength. But I pressed on.

I had to.

Delilah was 22 when she made the trek. The trip was her graduation gift to herself, of course. She didn't tell anyone, of course. That was just the way she was. Delilah didn't believe in the hero's journey. She never resisted the call of adventure, usually not even waiting for the phone to ring. A mysterious mountain in the middle of Europe was the flame to that moth. She would climb the top and plant a flag.

Her flag.

No one thought it would be her last, of course.

No one thought it would be my first.

Someone had been smart enough to put in lights marking the safest path. Every so often another one appeared, blinking red through the snow, guiding me along the safest path. They wouldn't last me forever, I knew, since no one had made it to the summit yet, but I'd follow my guide as long as I could. I didn't have my sister's sense of adventure. I needed all the help I could get. Even as the snow obscured more of the trail and my tally of near death experiences rose, I pressed on.

I had to.

Mom and I flew out to visit my sister for her graduation. We flew out early, so we could celebrate during the week between finals and her graduation ceremony. It was going to be a nice surprise - for both of us - especially since I had barely seen her since she moved to the other coast.

Her roommate told us she already left for some unnamed peak.

"Of course," Mom said.

She said the same thing last week when I said I was going to do it. I tried not to think about her tone. It didn't matter. I wasn't doing this for anyone. Anyone except Delilah.

Before she left for college, she set aside a day to teach me to fight. I was always the bookish type, deciding to hit the gym of the mind. Delilah always politely laughed at that. Unfortunately, no one else did. A few took offense, deciding that I was their enemy since I favored books but couldn't lift them.

Delilah was there when they tried to tell me this. She met their fists with her own. The blood blended in with her red shirt. She often joked blood was her favorite color. It wasn't much of a fight, she was half a decade older than us, but they never bothered me again. Before she left, she made sure I would be ready if they did.

My mom and I spent the week in Los Angeles visiting museums. I still had years until at that point college, but I decided I was going to follow in Delilah's footsteps. I had to. Even in the polluted city, the California coast was beautiful. I thought nothing could ruin it. Plus, Delilah confided in me that she planned to stay in Los Angeles after graduation. She promised she would show me around when she got back and found a job.

She never found a job.

She never returned.

The cold pressed down on me. Even the burning ache of sore muscles was starting to fade to the chill. I pressed on, following the lights ever closer to the peak. The air was thin. My lungs developed tear ducts just to cry in pain. But I pressed on. I had to.

I was sure the flag was frozen to my hand. It was Delilah's design, one she had made specifically for this journey. Mom complained when she said she wanted to study art. Freaked out more when she said she wanted to do it in an expensive state far away.

She didn't freak out as much when I told her what school I was going to.

The snow slowly let up. I was nearing the peak, I was sure. The blinking red lights led me down a path not too steep, but my frozen body struggled. I was determined to make it to the top. I had to.

They never found Delilah's body. When i first started the journey I was nervous - yet oddly hopeful - I'd stumble across it. As I neared the top, I knew that wouldn't be the case. That was one of three promises I made to the empty coffin five years ago. The pain of failure hurt worse than the bitter cold eating away at me. I already kept the first promise. If I survived the journey, I'd go back home to LA and hang my degree on my wall.

I wouldn't break the last promise.

I had to keep it.

With a roar, I lifted myself onto the ledge, ignoring the screaming muscles and exhaustion. I tried not to think about the journey back down. I would have to find my way back to camp before night fell and I froze to death. But that didn't matter.

I must have been the second person to reach the summit. That didn't matter either. There was no other flag, just a single red light.

Above the clouds, above the snow, Delilah's flag gently waved. If someone else ever made to the peak, they'd know Delilah made it first. The mountain belonged to her.

It had to.

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