Reddit Stories 2019

Smash Em Up #2

Drifting in a listless orbit, the ship offered a gorgeous view of the vast desert below with sands painted in colors seen nowhere else. Offworld, I could finally rest and assess the damage. Nothing serious, luckily, but I wasn't looking forward to explaining what happened to my handler.

"Open communications channel and call Evan," I ordered my robotic companion. The beams of blue light flickered on, slowly taking shape as a surprised young man in a suit, wiping coffee off his tie. Technology, right? Really the same as magic these days.

Underneath the bureaucracy and outdated pinstripes, my handler was almost a charming man. Strikingly handsome, but brains nowhere to be found. Too bad his love of money and sun-dried tomatoes overruled the call to adventure.

"Transmission established," Billy said, suppressing the part of his processor dedicated to a rhyming dictionary.

"Harfield?"

"Evan," I greeted, putting on the sweetest fake smile I could muster.

"My calendar says the check up is supposed to be tomorrow."

"Yeah, uh, there were complications," I said, stumbling over my words. "Orthello's not quite ready yet."

"Uh-huh," he said, noting the report on his datapad. "And Orthello is what you call the planet? Really?"

"Evan, when you risk your butt on hostile worlds, you get to name them. And I like naming mine after the classics."

"Like the Butt Cluster?"

"Or sometimes I just call 'em as I see 'em. Now, where am I headin' to next?"

Evan bit his lip, pushing the request to my display.

"Jane," he started, catching my angered stare, but I quickly cut him off.

"A single failed planet ain't gonna bankrupt Candle Corp, right?"

"No, but, Jane, you must understand the necessity of protecting our investment." Evan paused, looking at me with curious holographic eyes. "Did your accent get stronger?"

"Evan, I almost died last time I went there."

Always ready to find a silver living, he offered me a smile. "They are offering to pay all expenses, of course, and there is a fee. Hefty one, too."

"If I may interject," Billy said, finally speaking up. "Supplies are quickly running low. I mean no disrespect, but morale has suffered a serious blow."

Noting my companion's return to his poetic ways, I turned to Evan with my first sincere grin of the night, pointing to my hatted friend. "Excuse! Very good work, Billy."

"I did not offer a way out, Captain, but a reason to accept. They will restock what we're without, or so I suspect."

"Are you rhyming?"

"Billy does that sometimes," I grumbled in response.

"Look, Harfield, I know you don't want to head back to Andromeda X-10, but as your handler, I am strongly recommending you do this. Evan Graves out."

Alone in the room, I growled my displeasure at the shapeless pulsing blue and accepted that, unfortunately, the stupid pretty man was right. Left to my own devices, I'd explore the expansive galaxy til my ship rusted apart and stomach wilted. Whatever his reasons (money), Evan kept me on track and out of monstrous debt, if not out of monstrous jaws.

A message from a name I had just about forgotten flashed on my terminal, sending a chill down my spine. Years of silence and then, at the mere mention of AX10, he reappeared, like a ghost from a grave. Summoning the last of my courage, I opened it.

'Do not trust them. You are alone, Jane.'