iii. three

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When Sophie woke up the next morning, she couldn't fall back asleep.

It was hours before her, Trix, Ruy, Gisela, and Oman would leave to ambush the Black Swan—and her old friends—at Alluveterre. She put on fresh black leggings and a thin black undershirt—her usual undercloak getup.

She rolled out of bed and groped the floor for her weapons. She fumbled in the dark to strap throwing stars, daggers, and and their Technopath's gadgets onto her thighs.

Sophie glanced at Umber's abandoned bed across the room. Ever since she'd died, Sophie thought that she'd be getting a new roommate. She hadn't. But she was suddenly thankful for the peace and quiet.

Sophie reached for her cloak and pulled it on. She grabbed her gloves from where they hovered on the silver orbs levitating over her bed, deactivating the Illuminum magnets.

She brushed the inside pocket with her fingertips to make sure she still had her special daggers hidden away there. The Black Swan had given them to her soon after she fought off the baby trolls, and when she joined the Neverseen, she allowed their Technopath to add the modifications he wouldn't stop nagging her to include.

Now they were a pale ivory color and had a faint glow. The intricate handles fit in her grip as if the metal had been forged with her hands in mind—which honestly, they kind of had been. They were as sharp as lies.

She'd been saving them for when she faced her old friends again.

Sophie headed down the hallway to the training arena. She took some extra throwing stars from the weaponry and switched on the training course.

Targets lowered from the ceiling. Sophie faced them and took a deep breath.

She lunged and hurled star after star at dummies, floating spheres, and moving targets. The release felt good.

Really good. An emotion was slowly choking her chest, but it was too complicated to dwell on. A crease formed between her eyebrows.

Her eyes got blurry. When she ran out of goblin throwing stars, she grabbed a dagger and flung it.

She whipped another one.

And another.

Wet streaks coursed down her face. Sophie had no idea why. 

Another.

And another.

Again. And again. And again.

Sophie gripped her last two daggers, chest heaving. Her gaze darted around for more targets, but she had hit them all.

She spun in a circle, taking in all the bulls-eyes she had hit. Every single mark had a star or dagger stuck in the center.

But Sophie wanted to do more. She wanted to keep moving. She wanted to outrun whatever she was feeling.

A hole opened in the ground and a shadowy simulation jumped out. Sophie panted as a grin spread across her face, and she leaped for it.

She channeled the intense emotions coursing through her into every limb, not wasting energy on useless or sloppy strikes. Every hit she made, every cut and swing counted. The shadow simulation moved faster than she anticipated, but Sophie herself was a whirlwind with daggers.

Glowing, gleaming daggers.

Their fight looked like a deadly dance that had taken ages to choreograph. Every time Sophie slashed the thick shadows, dark inky substance seeped out. Every time the simulation landed a hit, Sophie felt like something had been ripped from her body by icy claws. The whole time, breathing became harder and harder as she tried to push through the emotion clouded her mind.

Sophie and the simulation stumbled a few paces back, chests heaving.

Tears threatened to fall from Sophie's eyes and drip onto her cloak. She shook her head. Her vision blurred, but she wanted nothing more than to keep destroying things.

Her whole body was tense, and she clenched the dagger handles so hard her knuckles turned white. 

Sophie screamed and pushed every ounce of strength she had into her muscles. Her legs moved so fast they were a blur, and she had tackled the simulation before she even knew what she was doing. She slashed at it over and over. Tears hissed as they hit shadows.

Sophie tore at the simulation over, and over, and over. Eventually, her tears poured out so fast she could barely breathe and her arms turned to jelly, then went still.

The floor opened up so the shadowy figure could seep back where it came from. 

Sophie sank to her knees, knives dragging in the sand. She almost wished it were salt so she could focus on the burning sting as it hit her cuts instead of all the emotions churning through her. All she wanted to do was curl into a ball until the suffocating feeling went away.

Sophie sobbed, pulling her hair off her temples. Her face was slick and she was a mess of sweat. She had no idea where all of this was coming from.

A tapping noise towards the door caught her attention. She stood on shaky legs and turned toward it. A cloaked figure shrouded in darkness leaned against the wall. Sophie raised her dagger.

Ruy stepped out of the shadows and walked towards her. She wiped her face and tried to bypass him on her way to the door, but her caught her wrist. "Hey," he said quietly. 

Sophie tried to break free, but his grip was strong. "I already did my training this morning."

"I can see that." He lifted his eyes to all the now-still targets impaled with stars and daggers. He dropped her wrist and quirked an eyebrow before his face grew serious. "I think I know a thing or two about what you're feeling."

"No, you don't. I don't even understand."

"But I do. I know. I know what it's like to have a life, friends, and family, and then find out it was all a lie. The people you were closest to turned into your very demons." Maybe she was imagining things, but she swore she found a hint of understanding within his blue eyes. 

Another tear traitorously slipped out of her eye. She glared at the ground. "I don't care about people from the past anymore."

"You want revenge. You want it so badly you would lose yourself completely if only you could make them understand what they did to you." He looked angry. A dangerous angry. Sophie knew he had a dark past, but she didn't know his was so alike to hers.

"Of course I want revenge," she whispered.

He shook his head. "But it's more than that. They did this to you. They took everything inside of you, broke it, and pushed you away as if it was your fault. You were left on your own to piece everything back together, and when you finally did, it wasn't the same."

Sophie bit her cheek and stared at him.

"I'm so glad you found us, Sophie." He reached for her shoulders. "I swear; you're going to get revenge on everyone who has ever hurt you."

Sophie glanced down at the knife she still gripped in her hand. The other lay forgotten near where the shadow simulation had left back into the ground. Ruy strode over and picked it up. He handed it to her.

A monster. That's what all these emotions and hatred were turning her into. No—this is what the Black Swan had turned her into, with their tricks and fake kindness and manipulation. It was time for her to face her maker. 

Ruy smiled. "That's more like it. Let's go show them what the Moonlark does to people who lie to her."

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