Reversed

xxxviii. thirty-eight

  Sophie swallowed, her throat as dry as sandpaper. She worked her mouth, trying to form words.

  "It's me," she got out, her voice quiet and hoarse.

  Grady wavered a little on his feet. He gave no warning before he suddenly lurched forward, enveloping her in his arms. "Kiddo," he whispered.

  He held on so tight she was having trouble getting air past her ribcage. She found herself hugging him back, squeezing her eyes to hold back the tears she felt rising in the back of her throat. He seemed to be leaning on her as much as she was leaning on him.

  Grady made a strangled noise she'd never heard him make before, giving her one last squeeze before reluctantly pulling back. "We should probably—"

  "Grady?" a small voice called from past the door. Edaline. "Grady, what's—" a gasp.

  Edaline came into view behind Grady, her hand covering her mouth.

  Grady stepped aside, his arm around Sophie's shoulders, as if he couldn't let go of her.

  Edaline rushed forward, her eyes wet. She reached out for Sophie, but at the last minute, flinched her hand away, as if she were afraid to touch her. Or wasn't sure if she wanted to be touched. Sophie recoiled, surprised.

  Edaline drew her hand back to her chest, holding it there with her other. Her eyes were wide, a tear tracing a path down her cheek.

  Sophie had a second to take a better look at her. Her hair hung down around her shoulders, brushed out but not styled. The dark circles that ringed her eyes when she was stressed were back. Her face looked slimmer, her cheeks hollower, as if she'd lost weight. Her clothes were simple, although less wrinkled than Grady's.

  And it was because of her. They looked this because of her. Sophie put her face in her hands, choking. She started to back away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. . ."

Grady tightened his hold around her shoulders, pulling her back towards him. "No, it's okay. It's okay."

Edaline cleared her throat. "Please, come in," she said.

Sophie shook her head numbly. "No. I can't. I. . . I ruin everything. . ." she buried her face in her hands again.

"Why don't we all sit down?" Magnate Leto suggested. "I can help answer some questions."

Grady nodded, swallowed. "That sounds like a good idea."

They all went inside, Sophie reluctantly. They gathered in Havenfield's living room. Grady sat down first, followed by Edaline beside him. Magnate Leto took a plush chair, crossing his long legs at the ankles.

Sophie hesitantly and slowly sat down on an empty chair.

Edaline was the first to speak. "Were you really. . ." She cleared her throat. "Were you really with the Neverseen?"

Sophie nodded, puzzled. Had the Black Swan not specified her whereabouts to Grady and Edaline?

Magnate Leto saw her expression. "We actually weren't positive where you were exactly for about six months, so we were hesitant to give out information as to not incite any false negativity."

Sophie nodded. She had spent a long amount of time training and going on incognito missions, careful never to expose her face on the Neverseen's orders.

Edaline covered her mouth. "What did they do to you?"

Sophie looked down, and opened her mouth to respond. Nothing came out at first, but then she found it in herself to say, "I was there of my own free will. The Neverseen—they altered my memories and emotions, making me hate you guys. I worked for them. Gladly."

"And now you have your memories back?" Grady asked.

Sophie nodded curtly. "But not my emotions."

Grady and Edaline looked at Magnate Leto, their eyes wide. He gave a small nod, answering their unasked question.

Grady blew out a breath and dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his forehead. "This is all so much to take in," he said.

Edaline nodded, rubbing his back. She met Sophie's eyes and gave a small smile. It looked so much bigger and warmer than it was to Sophie, though, weighed against everything that was going on.

"We're glad you're back, whatever has happened in the past seven months," she said.

Grady picked his head up, smiling at her, too. "We love you no matter what, kiddo."

Sophie wrung her hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "That's why you keep getting hurt."

Grady blinked. "That is not true," he said vehemently, standing up. He went over to her, gripping her shoulders in his hands. "The fact that we love you is the very thing that has kept us from being hurt. When you first came to us, we were afraid to love you, to let you through the shadowy walls of grief we had built around ourselves. But when we did. . ." He looked over at Edaline, who had also gotten up and was now kneeling beside Grady in front of Sophie.

"You made everything so much better," Edaline finished for him. "That's why it hurts so much when you're gone. You lightened up our lives, and managed to fill a hole we never thought could be filled."

"You don't have to apologize for anything," Grady said firmly. "We're in this together, whether you like it or not. We help each other through the darkest times that try to consume us, and come out even stronger for it."

"We love you," Edaline added. "Just in case you didn't hear it enough."

Sophie made a choked noise, wrapping her arms around Grady and Edaline as soon as they leaned in to give her a hug. She thought she felt a spark of. . . something now, but it could have just been her imagination. She wished with all of her heart that she could love Grady and Edaline as much as they loved her—that the Neverseen would let her. But she still felt nothing. . . nothing.

When they all finally pulled away, Grady and Edaline wiping tears from their eyes, Sophie felt much better.

"Would you rather finish asking your questions now, or would you like to let Miss Foster rest?"

Grady looked over at Magnate Leto with a surprised expression, as if he'd forgotten that he was there. "I think we should all settle down and rest," he said.

Magnate Leto nodded, getting up. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said before closing the door behind him.

Edaline turned to Sophie. "Magnate Leto told us that you were just recovering from an allergic reaction. You're probably still drained."

Sophie nodded. "I just slept for a really long time at the new hideout, but I think I could use some more rest. Everything—" she waved her hands around, indicating what everything meant—"has been really exhausting."

"Let's get you back into your room, then," Edaline said. She led the way up the stairs.

Going up to the third floor or Havenfield was like walking back in time. Everything was exactly the same. Nothing had changed in the past seven months—not the furniture, not the rooms, not the impeccable cleanliness to the estate, not the way the light fell though the windows.

And not Sophie's room, either. Her gaze traveled from one corner to the next, taking in the meticulously preserved objects held as if in a time capsule.

When her eyes finally fell on the bed. . .

"Ella!" Sophie rushed over to the bed, diving for her old blue stuffed animal. She cradled her in her arms, a huge smile on her face.

Grady and Edaline crossed the room and sat down beside her on the bed, smiles to match hers on their faces. They leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. Edaline squeezed her hand.

"Goodnight, kiddo," Grady said. He clapped his hands to darken the windows, drowning the room in darkness.

"Goodnight," Sophie whispered softly to the black, so quietly she wasn't sure if they could hear her or not before they closed the door.