I finally got the boyband boyfriend I had always dreamt of having

Part 4

-Recap from Part 3-

"you have cheese on your chin." he put his fingers under my chin and slowly wiped away the cheese with his thumb. His touch was soft, and gentle. He looked into my eyes, and he was now leaning forward a little towards me. I watched him closely. There was silence, all that was heard was the voices from the film in the background. It was dark now. Our faces were just inches apart. I could feel his breath on my face. It smelt so good. I watched him slowly lean forward more and more. Before i could say anything, his lips were pressed firmly against mine. Closing the gap between us.

* * *

My fingers automatically tangled themselves in his hair. I had butterflies fluttering around in my stomach as I pulled his face closer to mine. This was by far the best kiss I had ever shared with anyone. In my mind I could see all sorts of colours exploding into various different shapes. I felt his hands move onto my waist as he pushed me down slowly. He laid between my legs and leaned over me. Our heads were tilting and our lips were moving in perfect synchronisation. His hand started moving down my leg and I could feel the heat on my cheeks rising. The kiss was getting deeper as I felt his tongue run along my bottom lip, asking for entrance. But I denied.

He pulled away slowly and looked into my eyes as he brushed the hair out my face, both of us breathing heavily from the kiss we just shared. “Why didn’t you let me take it one step further?” he whispered. I shook my head slightly.

“I-I’m not ready...” I watched him study my eyes for a clearer answer. I took a deep breath in through my nose. “What I meant was...this is the first time we’ve kissed…And, I can tell you want to take it further already but I’m just not ready for that right now.”  I whispered back.  He watched me for a few moments until deciding to stand up and leave the room. I swallowed and sat up. I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled on my shoes.  I stood from the arm chair and walked to Tom’s room. I knocked on his door softly. “Tom?” I listened for a reply.

“I’ll see you tomorrow or something.” I heard him mumble.

“Don’t be like that with me…Tom please, let’s talk about this okay? I’d rather not fight with you.” I pleaded. I could hear him moving around and then the door opened. I looked up at him with a sorry look whilst he just started down at me. “Tom…we’re not even an item…and you want more than just a kiss already.” He rolled his eyes.

“You know, the first time we met I fell for you. You’re perfect to me Jess and I thought you felt the same… After liking the band since the beginning, I thought you’d want this. But I guess my judgement was wrong. Did you think you could just waltz in here, have a kiss and then leave again?” I swallowed slightly and shook my head.

“N-no…” I stuttered, obviously letting out the weak side of me. “Tom…I didn’t know you liked me that much…I mean, the note you left me when we met was sweet, and the flowers were a nice gesture…you caught me by surprise when you kissed me, and to be honest I have liked you for nearly three years…but we haven’t even know each other that long, and I just don’t think that a couple of months is long enough to fall for someone. I’m sorry.” I watched him look away from me. It hurts that he doesn’t even want to look at me right now…did I really do something that bad that he can’t even look me in the eye?

“Just go. I thought I meant something to you, more than a friend and I was ready to take a step further and make it into something more…but no…You’re not ‘ready’.” I could sense the nasty sarcasm in his voice as he said the last few words. I didn’t know what else to do but to just turn around and walk away. So that’s exactly what I done.

-Tom’s P.O.V-

I watched her as she walked away from me. I could see in her eyes that she didn’t want to and I saw the tears build in them as I spoke. What was I thinking? My words were harsh and cold. I could have said something different like ‘we can make this work’ or ‘I’ll change your mind so it’s what you want’ but I had to ruin things and let the truth slip out. Why did I always do this? I am not going to let her get away. Maybe I’ll just leave things until tomorrow and see her in the morning. She probably just wants to be alone and cry herself to sleep. That’s what girls do when they get hurt, right?

I heard the door shut. It wasn’t slammed, so she wasn’t angry with me…that’s good I guess. I hope I haven’t hurt her too much…I don’t want her to think I’m a jerk or think I’m playing her because I wouldn’t do that, maybe to other girls but not to Jess. She actually means something to me this time and I’m not going to ruin my chances and let the perfect girl for me slip away and fall in love with someone else.

I sighed and ran my hands roughly over my face. Just let her leave Tom, go see her tomorrow and  you can fix things then. I nodded once to myself and turned on my heel back into my room. I closed the door and striped down to my boxers, climbed into bed and placed my hands behind my head. I stared up at the ceiling until eventually my eyes closed shut.

-Jess’ P.O.V-

I ran down the stairs and to my apartment. I couldn’t even get the key in the whole because of the tears that streamed down my face. How could he say that to me? He knew I meant what I said when I told him I wasn’t ready for more and now he’s making fun of me for it. He said he liked me and then does this? I don’t even know what to believe anymore. You don’t tell someone you like them a lot and then make fun of them; it’s simply not the right thing to do. Especially to a girl.

After a few attempts and wiping away the tears, I put the key in the lock and walked inside. I closed the door behind me and walked straight to my bedroom. I didn’t even bother getting undressed; I just kicked of my converse and crawled into bed. I laid my head down on the pillow and just let the tears fall. There weren’t many but I still needed a good cry after what he had said to me. You’ll think I’m stupid for crying over a guy that isn’t even mine but he did honestly hurt me, maybe not much but he doesn’t know my secret and if he’s treating me like this already then why should I let him have my heart? He probably doesn’t even care that I’m crying. If he sees me like this he’ll just laugh in my face.

I rolled over and grabbed the nearest teddy. I held the teddy close and shut my eyes tight. I cried for a good hour or so, but I eventually fell asleep. And who was I dreaming of? Tom.