Stupid Love

Breather

Mackenzie smiles

Mackenzie laughs

Mackenzie dreams

Mackenzie beams

Dad use to hum the words to me on those nights where I just couldn't fall asleep. I missed that. I missed the humming and the smell of burnt pancakes in the morning. I missed dad and now that he's back, nothing has really changed. I still miss him so much. 

My eyes are burning or maybe someone's shining light on them. I'm not entirely sure. I'm not really sure where I am right now. 

Last thing I remember is the car.

The car? That's right. The blue car that hit me. I remember hearing someone's voice, Jake's or Sam's. Then nothing. Right now I can't really decide if I'm dead or not.

"Mac?" Someone says. 

My eyes still arent strong enough to open.

"I'm so sorry." It was Jake. His voice is shaky and hoarse as if he's been crying for the longest while. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn't have made you angry."

No, its not his fault. 

"I just couldn't help myself. I love you, so much. More than you know. I just need to kiss you one last time." He says. 

       He clears his throat and shuffles in his seat. Then I can feel it. His soft lips on mine. Suddenly I feel more alive than ever. My eyes flicker open. The lights pierce them first. Then there's Jake in all his perfection. Looking at him I realized I couldn't love anyone as much as I love him. Not Jace. Not Nikki or Kyle. Not even Sam whose been there for me the past few months. Jake is everyhting. 

"You really are beautiful." He says.

          There's tubes in my nose and arms. My broken leg is wrapped around in a cast and my lips feels sore. I did not look beautiful. But that was Jake. He would do or say anything to make me feel better.

"So are you." I mumble.

He kisses my forehead once more. "I should go tell the doctors you're awake. We were starting to believe that you weren't going to."

My eyes open wide. "How long was I out?"

"Four days. Yesterday you kind of moved but you didnt wake up. I knew you would. You wouldn't leave me behind. Not forever anyyways."

           He heads towards the door. 

"Jake," I say softly because my throat is dry and has a mild burning sensation. "I choose you. I know things haven't been the best for us the past few months but I realized something. I can't live without you, literally I guess. I just need you okay."

He smiles and a tear drop rolls down his cheek. "I love you Mac."

"Always and forever."

      The five minutes the room was open was peaceful even with the loud beeping machines. Maybe because before I ended up here I just went along wiith life. I let everything come to me but I never chased anything. I never chose to be happy. All I had was the balled up anger against my parents for the divorce and Jake for ending this once in a lifetime relationship. I had to let go of my anger. All my pain. I had to choose to be happy. 

"Mackenzie?" The nurse says walking over to me. 

I had drifted off again. "Yes"

"How are you feeling?" She asks. 

"Alive but broken."

"Well your foot is broken. You also had a mild concussion and your back in damaged . You'll have to have physical therapy for a few months but in no time you'll be back to new." She says and forces a smile.

"So I'll have to use a wheelchair?" I ask.

She nods. "Just for awhile until your strong enough to use cruches."

I press my lips together and lay back against the pillow. "What about my flight back to california?"

"Your parents are here. They said they changed the departure date. You have nothing to worry about, get some rest."

    She changes the liquid bag and adjust the needle in my arm. When the needle moved, I realized just how much pain I was in. Yet all I could think about was Sam. School starts soon. Is he going to stay with me? Not that I expect him to. I'm going to have to tell him I choose Jake.