Stupid Love

Heartbreak

Nikki plays Human by Christina Perri off her iPod. I don't know if she thinks it'll make me feel better. I couldn't be more depressed right now.

"Mac" Sam says coming down the stairs. Suitcase in hand.

"I'm so damn sorry Sam." I say to him sliding off the couch and into the wheelchair.

He forces a smile. "it's ok. I knew you would choose him. You loved him first. Its impossible sometimes to get over your first love."

He walks over to me and gets on his knees so we're face to face.

"You mean so much to me." I say to him. "I am sorry I put you through all of this."

"No Mac don't please. I'm going to be fine. It's me, Sam, you know that I'll be okay. I'm a fighter, right?"

I nod quickly. "right. I love you okay. You were there when I needed someone more than ever and I will never forget that."

He kisses me. Our lips meet and I begin crying all over again. Gosh I hate myself. How could I do this to him? He doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

"We'll see each other again Mac. Stanford is the dream right?"

"Exactly, friends?"

He wipes the tear rolling down my cheek. "The most complicated pair of misfits. Yes friends."

"Goodbye."

He kisses me again. "bye."

Nikki's mom drove him to the airport and he was gone. I wanted to go with them. Just so I could be with him a little longer. Nikki's mom doesn't have a wheelchair ready car so I'm stuck in the house for now. My parents are here everyday when their not at the hotel. Jake is here when I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. Then there's Jace who feels guilty around me because he has a whole bunch of feelings for my twenty two year old sister.

Jake came about twenty minutes after Sam left.

"Hey beautiful." he says and kisses me quickly.

"Hello handsome. I still can't believe you stayed with the chick in a wheelchair."

He smiles. "I think it's kind of hot. quick question, why is she crying?"

I look at Nikki whose staring at the television. Her blue eyes soaked.

"Why are you crying?" I say to her.

She wipes her cheeks and looks at both of us. "you almost died Mac. You don't even see how distraught everyone is. Sam, Kyle, Jace, your parents, Jake, me. Jake may keep a strong face in front of you but I know pain when I see it."

"I don't know what to say Nikki. I got hit my a damn car. I had to say goodbye to this amazing boy because I can't give up Jake. I love him too much. I know this sucks. I just don't know that I'm suppose to do."

She hugs me. "just never scare me like that, ever again."

I nod. I couldn't ask for more. My whole life I've been so miserable because I wasn't satisfied with all I had around me. Now I couldn't be more grateful. They are more than enough for me.