Joshua Bliss

Chapter 21: Dancing, Andre, and Kaitlin

"Don't you wear any skirts?" Sophie asked me on Monday night when I had gotten into Josh's car.

"Not a lot, why?" I asked her, pulling in the door to close it. She was sitting in the back seat beside Dustin, and Carter was sitting at the front while Josh was obviously in the driver side.

"You should wear skirts more; I think you'd look really pretty." She told me with a small smile, as Josh started to drive away.

"Thanks," I smiled, before turning to my right and looking out the window as we drove by. It was a little after six now, and the dance thing was starting at 6:30, and Sophie texted me earlier and told me that it's almost a thirty minute drive, so I guess we're going to be like, perfectly on time. Sophie and I exchanged numbers at lunch, right when we were heading different ways for our classes. Only she has my number now, aside from Amanda and Jason, but I doubt they'd be talking to me any time soon; even if they did I wouldn't reply anyway. So I have four contacts now, plus my dad and some of my aunts and uncles, and a little of my cousins that I know, too. I'm that antisocial person with no friends, that kind of sucks for me, haha...

The rest of the ride, I was silent, as well as Josh (of course) and Carter. It was kind of a little surprise, the silence in the car; because I really thought Sophie would be talking to me a whole lot. But I mean, she looked pretty tired, and I think she was asleep, because she was leaning on Dustin's shoulder and was completely silent. The silence was kind of frustrating though, because it just makes me think about a whole lot of stuff again. The only good thing about it this time was that it wasn't thoughts of being alone, because I had Kendrick now, and that was pretty great. But I was continuously thinking about Josh, and that was not pretty great, it was more like pretty annoying. I know I like him and all, but I don't expect to think about it so much, because that's just overboard, I think.

I think it's because of him ignoring me, because when I'm not with Kendrick or listening to Sophie talk, it's like I'm stuck in a room just staring at the four walls around me. And there's no doors, no way to get out. It's just me here, and all I want is to hear his voice and I'll be fine. At least then I won't be trapped in a door-less room, and at least then I won't have these annoying thoughts just clouding my mind. I just hate the silence now, because the silence brings back my thoughts; but I know that I'll have to go through that sometimes, because it's not like there'll always be a noise. I think about Josh the most when I'm trying to sleep, because then it's the absolutely quietest. I go to bed a lot earlier than I used to though, so at least I get enough sleep to keep me energized for the next day. I'll probably start listening to music to make me fall asleep, because then it won't be so quiet, and it'd be nice to have him off of my mind sometimes.

It's not like I don't like the thought of him or anything, because I obviously do. It's official that I like him, so of course I'm going to think about him a lot more than usual, but this, this is just way too much. I like having thoughts like the nice things he does, like when he let me stay with him after the movie we went to with Taylor and Kendrick. He let me be comfortable and sleep on the bed, while he didn't, and he seemed to care a lot; he didn't want us to sleep outside, and he found a way to get me down in the basement and out, and I think that's him caring, I don't know. I like having thoughts like that, because it makes me smile thinking of him like that. But the thoughts I have now are just if he'll ever talk to me again, or if he doesn't like me anymore. Sometimes I even think what if I make him lose his friends because they like me? But I really doubt that'd happen, because they won't be like that, I'm sure.

It took 24 minutes for us to get to where we were going, which wasn't that long, so I guess we aren't perfectly on time. I was timing how long it took us to get here, because of how bored I was with the silence in the car. I got out of the car after seeing Carter get out, because I'm never sure when to get out of a car when I don't know where I'm going. When I got out of the car, Dustin was shaking Sophie, so I guess she really was asleep. I waited by the car for them to get out, as Josh and Carter waited on the same side as me for them. Dustin got out of the car, and kind of had to pull Sophie out. She was wobbling a little bit, so he held her to help her walk.