all i need // l.p {au}

chapter nineteen

I flipped on the light and closed the door behind me, so we wouldn't wake his parents. I stepped up to the bed hesitantly, afraid of what was coming next. My habit of biting my lip kicked in as I slipped out of my heels.

"Tell me dammit!" Liam's voice was loud and demanding, something I rarely experienced with him.

"Nowhere," I shrugged, not wanting him to know I was with Harry.

"You met with him didn't you? What, did you fuck him too?" he scoffed.

"It's none of your business," I said, my teeth clenched. I was close to tears at how stupid I was being. I didn't feel like playing games anymore or sleeping with random guys.

"God, Logan. Why do I even bother?" He stood from the bed and let out an exasperated sigh. "Oh, yeah I remember. I fucking love you!"

"Shhh," I whispered. "And no you don't Liam. You barely know me."

"That's not true. I know you better than Harry does."

"Harry isn't claiming to love me!" I was getting frustrated with him now. He was acting like since he "loves me" he is above everyone else.

Liam paced for a few moments before going back over to the bed. "I'm sorry. I'm messing everything up. I just get so angry when Harry comes around."

I was chewing on my lip again, probably drawing blood. I carefully sat down next to Liam and folded my hands in my lap. "Could you please tell me what happened?"

"No. You don't want to know," Liam shook his head.

"Please? I'm sorry I went to see him. I was just upset because you were telling me what to do. He didn't seem that bad to me," I shrugged.

"I don't even fucking know why he was here! He shouldn't have been here!"

"Why not?"

"He messed Ruth up. They dated back last year. She was so in love with him and then devastated when she found him with another girl that just so happened to be her best friend. She came home crying the day she found out and I got so angry. I think it might have been because I had just found out that Danielle had been cheating on me. I hated that someone would do that to my sister. I stormed out of the house and found Harry. I punched him, square in the jaw, but he punched me back. We fought until he was the clear winner. I hated that he hurt my sister and then I couldn't even beat up the jerk."

"Liam, I had no idea," I breathed out. "I feel terrible that I even went to meet him. I'm so stupid," I rambled.

He placed his hand on my knee. "It's alright. I should've told you before but please tell me you didn't sleep with him," he spoke quietly.

I was in tears now, getting to the point of ugly sobbing. "I can't tell you that," I choked out.

"Did he..."

"No, no," I shook my head. "I hate to say that I did everything voluntarily." I wanted some excuse, anything to explain my actions. "I know this doesn't help but it's just who I am. I sleep with guys I never have to see again."

"Then what am I? Just someone to fuck over?"

"No!" I answered too quickly. I had never meant to hurt Liam, but I did. After that first time, I never should have talked to him. I shouldn't have let him in, told him about my life and my past. I always thought people let me down, but maybe it was the other way around. Maybe I was the one that always let others down.

"So how many other guys have you slept with since we started hanging out?"

"Just Harry!" I begged for him to believe me. I had slept with Tristan, but I didn't count it since it was before Liam and I really knew each other.

"So what was he to you? Did he mean more to you than me? Did he fuck you better?"

"Liam please stop! This isn't helping anything."

"Whatever. The taxi leaves at nine tomorrow, you better be ready."

And with that, he left.

After I calmed down a little bit, I stripped off my dress and crawled under the duvet. My tears were still streaming down my face as I sobbed quietly.

***

The taxi ride and plane ride were completely silent. Liam wouldn't even talk to me when I tried to start a conversation. On the plane, his leg bounced up and down rapidly. I wished that I could comfort him like before, but he was shutting me out.

He dropped me off at my house without even saying goodbye. I dropped my bags right when I got in the door. I needed to go pick up Daisy from Tristan but I was too exhausted. I texted him asking if it was ok if I picked her up tomorrow.

I'll bring her over, she misses you, he texted back. I groaned, but texted him that was fine. I missed Daisy too and it would be less of a hassle if he brought her back.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door and I was greeted by Daisy and a tired looking Tristan. I picked up my dog and was attacked with kisses. I was happy to have someone giving me affection.

"How was the trip?" Tristan asked as he followed me inside.

"Horrible," I told him shortly.

"What happened?" he asked, following me to the couch as Daisy roamed around the apartment.

"Not much. I just messed everything up with Liam. He won't even speak to me."

"That doesn't sound like British boy at all. He was so head over heels for you everytime he came to the bar. You must've done something really bad."

"It's a long story, Tris and I'm really exhausted," I said, hoping he would take the hint and go home.

"Alright," he sighed. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

I nodded. I was actually looking forward to get back to work. He stood up and waved before walking out the door. I was then left alone, with my thoughts of how I lost my friend that could have turned into something more if I had just given him the chance.

sorry if this sucks, i rewrote it quickly because i lost like half of it :/ anyway please vote and comment. xx zoe