all i need // l.p {au}

chapter twenty-two

I woke up the next morning with Liam's arms still around me, holding me close. It was as if he was afraid to lose me. My eyes slowly adjusted to the lightness of his room and I took this opportunity to look around. His room was mostly clean, except for a single pile of clothes near his closet. My eyes then landed on his small bedside table. There were multiple empty bottles of vodka and beer. I swallowed the lump in my throat and grew concerned. I had never really thought about it much before, but Liam seemed to drink a lot. It wasn't that I had anything against people drinking, it was more that I had seen my dad struggle with alcoholism and I didn't want to see anyone else I was close with go through that.

I felt liam moving slightly next to me, so I turned to face him. His eyes slowly opened and when he saw me, a smile appeared on his lips. "Good morning, beautiful," he murmured, his voice laced with sleep.

"Good morning," I mumbled quietly.

"What's wrong, are you alright?" he asked, moving onto his side so he could see me more clearly. I bit my lip and shrugged. "Hey, if we're really going to do this, then we have to start out strong. You can tell me."

My eyes looked anywhere but his, showcasing my nerves. "I don't want to seem overbearing and say something where I know it's not my place."

"I want you to be able to tell me anything. We should be able to share things with each other." He cupped my face with his right hand, causing me to look at him.

"I...I just want to make sure that you aren't, you know, relying on alcohol," I bit my lip again, mentally telling myself to kick the nervous habit.

Liam pushed himself up so that he was sitting with his back against the headboard and I did the same. Our legs were stretched out in front of us, practically touching. He grabbed for my hand and held it with both of his on his lap. "Why are you..." he trailed off. "Fuck, it doesn't hurt anything to have a drink!" he spoke loudly all of a sudden and let go of my hand. He stood up from the bed and paced around the room.

"I know it doesn't! That isn't what I'm saying at all," I tried to explain. I hadn't told Liam yet that my dad was an alcoholic or my concerns about it, but I knew I had to.

"Then what are you trying to say?" he demanded, his arms crossed over his bare chest as he came to stand before me.

"I'm just scared that when you have a problem, you turn to alcohol so you get drunk." I paused, looking down at my hands. "I've just dealt with my dad doing that and I don't want to see that or go through it again. I can't be with someone that gets drunk so often that they aren't going to be there for me."

Liam's facial expression turned from angry to concerned. He sat down on the edge of his bed next to me and placed his hand on my knee. "I admit that I have turned to alcohol to numb my pain at times, but I am in no way addicted. From here on out, I will always be here for you when you need me. I want to show you what it means to be loved."

I met his eyes and I could tell he was being sincere. I leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. "I believe you," I said against his lips. "Alright, well as much as I would like to stay in bed all day, I need to go into work to train the new bartender."

"No," Liam groaned. "Can't you call in sick? I want to spend time with you and cuddle you and kiss you," he whined.

I giggled. "You can do all of that later," I said, trying to get up from the bed. Liam trapped me in his arms and started peppering my neck and face with kisses. "Liam, stop," I laughed, but he then began to tickle my sides, causing me to yelp. I squirmed to the side and scooted off the other side of the bed.

"Hey!" Liam protested and dashed over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I don't want you to leave," he whispered in my ear.

"I have to," I turned around in his arms to face him. Liam squeezed me and leaned down, slowly kissing me. His lips were soft and he deepened the kiss, his tongue entangling with mine. I pushed against his chest a moment later. "Ok, if I don't go now, I am going to be late," I said.