The Wonders [Short Stories]

Existence

When I walk, I don't feel like I am a person.

I feel like I am slowly disappearing, like that socializing is not what I was made to do.

I feel as if any moment my soul would leave my body, into an almost silent room.

I feel as if I am no one, a silent soul meant to leave.

I don't feel like I am a living person.

Maybe that is what I was meant for?

Maybe I'm
A monster,
A creature,
A ghost.

An empty soul meant for only few to find.
An empty soul meant to copy others, but not be one.
An empty soul, meant to amuse others, to live on their behalf.

I feel as if I live as another human.

As if I am not myself, that there is no "me", or "I", no personal pronouns. I am not me, and that is how "I" feel.

This body that I inhabit is not mine, I only occupy it for someone else to use again.

The only time I feel I am alive is when listening to music and nothing else, or when I feel only a few emotions.

When I talk, I walk away after, and wonder: "Did I even say anything?"

Did I even speak my own language?

What makes up languages? Noises that only a population understands, and others have to learn this difficult noise making process?

What if this world we live on is only a toy for a being so much bigger than us to use as entertainment, as we destroy this world moment by moment?

Emotions aren't real, they are only a figment of our own imagination.

What is "love"? What is "happiness"?

I've heard people say things like: "You can imagine being happy, and you'll become happier." I believe this is for any other emotion we might have.

We are a difficult creature to figure out, but I don't know if others have thought this way.

What if this body is only a host for something to inhibit til it dies, and then the body is given to another thing?

Does anyone feel like this?

Or am I alone, a ghost in this plane of existence?

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