The Wonders [Short Stories]

Loved

For the longest time, I've never been with someone in person. I've never felt a loving touch, seen the affectionate gaze or felt truly loved with their words or presence.

I had only seen their words, heard their voice over long distances, told of what they wished for, and yet never seen them in person. It was conflicting between my fear of the unknown idea of in-person romance, and my fear of people I've never met in person.

I've always been on guard, never giving personal information out into the world, no matter what. It's been that way for years now, but as I grow up I realize people use the internet for so many things- communication, meeting others, contacting colleges and jobs for important life developments.

I've always separated my online life from my real life, and now that I'm the one growing up into this world, I'm confused. If I want to go somewhere in life, I have to do things I'm not comfortable doing, like show my face publicly. In order to do what I want in life, I have to sacrifice my personal freedom to those online, and it scares me. But of course, no one would understand my struggles unless they went through the same thing I think about it.

I have many goals in life, many careers I want to do, things I have an interest in. But online... I've only had heartbreak and misery. There weren't many moments that could leave lasting happiness. When I think about it, I don't remember any memories that didn't end up hurting me or someone else eventually. Offline, I don't talk to many people. I barely have friends, even those I see as friends barely talk to me because they're busy with their own lives.

I feel alone in this world, until I'm near someone I care about- and in my reality that is rare. In my reality, friendship is rare, even if it comes to family. My cousins are my friends, very close friends, but everyone else is just that. They're my family. My friends though, they're close to me in ways that family couldn't come up with. Family may not be able to "leave" you, but friendship comes with that risk, which is a more realistic option.

Going back to what I had first said, I've never been with someone in person. I've never held hands with someone who liked me, never gazed into their eyes while blushing like crazy. Everything has always been online, because I'm scared of the unknown. I know I shouldn't be, but I don't do well with strangers. I always tell myself I should disappear, so I didn't have to deal with all this nonsense, but I'm here, so I guess that didn't work [Insert awkward laugh here].

I've never been told that they'd go anywhere for me, and in turn I'd say the same, but the last time I attempted to go for someone in person, it didn't work out. I tried, and I failed. I tried again, the next year, and of course I failed. I feel like my life is full of failures, as I don't often remember the good things in it. It's difficult to remember the good things for some people, I've heard. Yet there was barely any truly good things that didn't cause some pain.

I've been told that I need to get out of my box, but I'm absolutely terrified about getting hurt again so I don't. Besides, the majority of people around me are either garbage or not my type at all, so I guess I'm out of luck. Using an app on my phone is out of the question since that involves talking to strangers and possibly meeting them in person which is absolutely terrifying. I don't like the prospect of possibly seeing them again if things don't work, as I'd rather just block them out my life and go on like they never existed. Of course, I can't do that, which makes me not want to leave my box.

There are only a few times in my life that I've actually FELT being loved by others, family and friends included with that. With that, confidence is also included, but that's for another time. So in conclusion, one thing in my life that I believe has been ignored, is the feeling of being loved.

---

734 words.

Hey y'all, I'm sorry I haven't updated this since last year, but that's because I haven't felt the want to write for others instead of myself. Yeah, I love writing, but I wanted people to enjoy how I write.

Although, I'm starting something new! I need talented writers (scriptwriters, preferably, but either is fine) to dm me with something they've written and something that they're proud of. It can be any genre, just make it at least 800 words to 1,000 words. If it's about 700 to 750 words, I'll still think about it, but I'd rather 800 to 1,000 words. I'll be posting this on my account for people to see as well, but please dm me if you'd like to help me! I'll give credit to those who'd like to help, but I will only accept maybe 1 to 2 people. [This project is top secret for now, just until we finish the writing process. As a little hint, it'll eventually go on YouTube!] Thank you so much.

Let me know if you want to see more by clicking that little star in the bottom of your screen or the top right! Make sure to leave a nice and constructive comment if you'd like too! 💙

Have any ideas? Make sure to leave a comment on the word "Ideas", below!

▪~Ideas~▪