Sewn-up Hearts | Grey's Anatomy

22. | Street Lights

All the street lights, glowin'
Happen to be just like moments, passin'
In front of me so I hopped in, the cab and
I paid my fare see I know my destination
But I'm just not there
"Street lights" -Kanye West

Most people know how it feels to be int he perfect moment. Where you wish you can just freeze a moment completely, but no one really can. For a moment, just a small moment, Cristina wished she could freeze the moment she was in.

She had everything, comfort, happiness, warmth, safety, and a chest she clung onto that felt so right against her chest she didn't want to leave. To freeze that second would be the most amazing thing. However the moment the realization hit her, she all of the good things she had felt turned backwards, and she wanted to scream and run. But she was naked, unclothed, and vulnerable.

The images of the previous night flashed back in her head. Owen's lips pressed tightly on her, his arms around her waist, and how good it all was. God she hadn't felt that good in so long. It felt like she had built her whole life to feel like last night, but for some reason, all things that felt right were really wrong.

She lay there, her breathing heavy, and her eyes wide open.

Amelia.

When Amelia found out, she would feel how she did when she was cheated on. She would be broken, unable to look him in the eye again, and that would be because of her. Cristina felt terrible, and she slowly slipped out of the bed and put on her scrubs without any underwear in case she made any disturbing sounds. She carried all of her underwear and her shoes under her arm and slowly unlocked the door then slipped out.

No one was in the halls, and she sighed in relief, putting on her shoes and quickly ran to the washroom. She changed properly then went to her locker and stuffed all of her things into her tote. The last thing she saw was from her locker was her lab coat, which read was embroided as
Cristina Yang,
M.D. Ph.D.
Klausman Institue Zurich.
That was who she was. She wasn't Cristina Yang of Grey-Sloan Seattle, she was Cristina Yang Of Klausman Zurich. That was who she was.

She was no longer Meredith's person, as Alex took that spot now. No longer was she the crazy good cardio surgeon at Grey-Sloan, that was Maggie's position. Cristina was no longer Owen ex-wife who still had an on and off relationship with him constantly. She was now the girl he cheated on, breaking the woman he loves' heart.

God.

She was that person.

In all her life, she never thought she could hate someone she never met so much. After changing properly, she knocked on Bailey's office and a gruff voice rang out.

"Make it quick."

She quickly twisted the doorknob and walked into the office, and sat down on the armchair. Miranda Bailey barely even looked at her, and she silently wondered if her mentor ever missed her while she was in Zurich. Did she ever care like some of the others did? If she died, would Bailey be emotional?

Smoothing out her skirt, she cleared her throat awkwardly and tester her hands on her lap. "It's about time I leave. It's extremely quick, I know, and it's both professional and personal."

Bailey's eyes widened in shock. "I thought you were staying until Teddy's baby shower."

She shrugged, trying to contain all her guilt to herself. "Shane had a baby, he wants me to be the godmother. I also have patients. Sorry again for the short notice, now I have to go."