rain [2]

ten

Julia:

it's been about two months since he died. it's gotten easier at some points, where I take care of Deja and Phoenix they make me smile. they both know what happened to him, or the general idea of it.

Daniel has been by my side everyday. anytime, he felt like I was going to stop and think about jonah— he would have me do something. so I could keep my mind busy. because if I stop to think, the tears won't stop.

"mommy!" deja yelled

I walk over to her room and I see phoenix crying, holding something

"what's wrong bubba?" I say cradling him

"u-uncle jonah gave this to me" he cries

I look over at it, and it's a harry potter toy. with J•M engraved in the back of it.

"I miss him so much, mommy" he digs his head into my neck

I feel the tears flood my eyes and I continuously kiss his head and hold him tight. I try my best, to replicate one of jonahs hugs, to calm him down.

"what happened?" daniel asks, walking into the room

"jonah" I mouth to him

he nods and then sighs. he looks over at deja and see she's keeping her head down

"what's wrong princess?" daniel asks sitting next to her.

"I miss him too" her voice cracks.

you could see a lone tear travel down her skin. daniel picks her, placing her on his lap and just hugs her.

{}

we sat there for two hours, just holding our broken children. no child should be that broken at such a young age, no matter the issue.

they both fell asleep in our arms, so we put them in their beds to fall asleep for the night.

daniel and I quietly walked out of both of their rooms at the same time, all you could hear was our breathing.

I walked straight passed daniel, making my way into the living room. attempting to clean up all the toys and wrappers.

my head was pounding, which didn't help.

I felt arms snake around my waist and a kiss pressed onto my head. I shake my head and push his arms off of me. throwing away the wrappers and putting the toys in the basket.

"babe" he says

I sigh, and turn around to look at him.

"you have to get some sleep" he says taking my hand.

I rip my hand from his and grab onto my hair.

"I can't sleep" I mumble and sit on the couch, my legs curled under my body.

"why not?" he says sitting next to me