Poems for the Lost

Phobias

I have a phobia of loud noises
Because I grew up in a place Where loud noises meant
That danger was just around the corner
A shout meant something worse was coming
A crash meant someone was inevitably hurt
Abuse is what it was
But I never spoke up
I still don't
Because I'm afraid of the loud noises that will follow it
I have a phobia of falling
Because I've been pushed down
Too many times
I have a phobia of falling
Because not being on my feet means
I have nothing to hold on to
I have a phobia of grown men
Because every one I've ever grown attached to
Has hurt me
I have a phobia of abandonment
Because everyone I love seems to leave
Because people find it easy to throw me aside
I have a phobia of large open spaces
Because the small places are the only ones that ever felt safe
I have a phobia of the dark
Because that means anything can creep in to get me
Anything can happen and no one will see
Because in the dark is where my nightmares come to get me
I have a phobia of the sound of my footsteps
Because if I can't be silent I will be seen
If I can't be silent I will be caught trying to run away
I have many phobias
Because I have learned that people get caught up in their anger
And tend to destroy everything in their path
Including children