How He Broke My Heart

Chapter 30

When am I supposed to get my period? When I think about it, the last time I saw red was forever ago, but maybe that's just my head playing games with me. Of course, I worry about being pregnant right when Lauren finds out she is—or was. It's around me, a part of my life at the moment, so thinking I'm pregnant can't be too crazy.

I mean, I'm on the pill. There's only a few left, but I'm technically still on it. I take it everyday—I took it this morning, so what's the problem? Should I have researched more about it? I didn't think taking birth control was so complicated. What if I'm not taking it the right—

"Emma?"

"Are you okay? You look dizzy?"

Peering up to Lauren, I shake it off and straighten up. "Oh, I'm fine. Just got a little light-headed."

"Do you want something to drink? Or food? Have you eaten today?" Jonas asks while getting me water, not waiting for my answer.

"I did. I'm really fine. I don't know why..." I hear the front door open, and suddenly I can't speak anymore. It's Brandon. I have to act normal, no more stumbling or stuttering because he'll ask me what's wrong and then I'll have to lie instead of confessing that my period has disappeared. I don't want to lie to him. Whenever I've withheld the truth from him, all I feel is guilty.

"Hey, I'm home!" He calls into the house. "Who's here?"

"Hi, Brandon!" Lauren calls back. "It's just us!"

He appears from the main hall, and Preston sits up on the couch and does some sort wave thing at him. Brandon eventually turns to the three of us. The popping of the popcorn in the microwave is all I hear when his eyes reach mine.

"What are you guys doing over here? Watching a movie?" He casually walks over and leans against the counter, his elbows on the granite. Keys drop from his hands before he pulls his phone out of his pocket and sets that down as well. I need to stop staring at him. I need to speak.

"Yeah, we're, uh, watching a movie."

Jonas places my glass of water down in front of me, so I promptly take a sip.

Jonas elaborates, "No ones really been watching it. We've been talking over here, and they've been making out on the couch, so."

Brandon nods.

"Well, I was actually just about to leave," I spill.

"You were?" Lauren questions.

"Yeah, there are some things I have to do before our slumber party. I'll text you later, though. And you better be coming, Jonas." Just before I can awkwardly slip away, Brandon reels me back in.

He takes me into the hall and my heart pounds relentlessly. I fall back against the wall, hoping to sink into it. He looks at me as if he's daring me to say it without knowing what exactly it is.

"Everything alright?"

"Uh-huh."

He has to wonder why I'm so bipolar all the time. Why one day I'm all flirty and ready to give him my heart and the next I'm trying to escape him as if he's contracted some sort of disease. How does he handle me? How does anyone?

"You're doing it again," he says, bringing his arm up, nearly touching my neck as he beams it out to the wall.

"What do you mean?"

"Acting closed-off."

He's close enough now to make my mind wander to the idea of him kissing me—softly, lovingly as he did in my bedroom. My eyes flash down to his lips for a split second.