How He Broke My Heart

Chapter 19

Yesterday, my Dad came back. He had to go home for over two weeks because of work, but now he's back and I thought my mother would be happy about it, but she seems quite the opposite. It makes me second guess my theory about them trying for another baby, which makes me nervous that my mother will find out I stole her pills. Or maybe she already knows and she's simply letting me be, understanding my age and responsibility, and not wanting to embarrass me for no reason. She's probably proud that I'm being safe.

I wonder why they're upset with each other. We went out for dinner to welcome him back, but my mother didn't eat much. Whenever I would try to change the topic or cheer her up, she would give me a small smile and ask basic questions about work and Brandon.

When we got home from the restaurant, my Dad went straight to bed and my Mother stayed alone in the living room watching television. Feeling guilty, I sat with her and talked about Brandon, which is highly unlikely of me to do—talk about my odd love life to anyone, especially my mother. It seemed to help her out of her funk, so I bore through it.

Brandon and I have been getting closer, which causes me to think about our inevitable end. At work, he'll look over and wink, and of course, I can't help but feel all giddy. The Emma from a few weeks ago would be toppled over, sick if she knew what I was up to. I told Jonas I would change—at the time I was just saying what he wanted to hear, not sure if I actually could—but now I'm noticing differences—hence the giddy feeling instead of sending a glare at him.

For the last three days after work (besides yesterday), Brandon and I have been spending time together at Jonas'/his temporary house. We often find ourselves alone as Jonas is busy chasing Presley or hanging out with Lauren, who I refuse to speak to. She texts me almost every day, asking to talk things through. I feel like I can't trust her anymore which sucks because she's the only girl friend I have here, the only one who I can be brutally honest with when it comes to my feelings.

Brandon and I usually end up kissing on the couch or swimming in the pool—which led to me keeping a swimsuit at the house. Swimming in the pool usually leads to kissing in the pool, but we haven't gone past that.

Maybe it's because we aren't official. We don't call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, we haven't labeled our relationship. Or maybe he's just not sure if I want to take that step—or maybe he doesn't want to. Brandon is the most gentlemanly guy I've been with, so he must be waiting for a conversation about it first. I'm sure he knows I'm not a virgin, and I'm as positive as a pregnant woman that Brandon isn't one either.

Is it too soon to even think about this? Am I some horn-dog for wanting to?

"Emma?"

Peering up from the counter, I try to wipe my thoughts out of my mind at the sight of him. "Yeah?"

"Time to lock up," he says, holding up the keys.

I wait on the sidewalk while Brandon makes sure everything is secure. A little nervous to go to Jonas' again, I ask, "Are you going to walk me home?" Rocking on my feet, I try to stay playful and not show my awkwardness.

"I should, shouldn't I? I mean, you know how dangerous these streets get after the sun goes down."

I smile and tilt in the direction of my Aunts house, giving Brandon enough time to catch up. We walk together, each time getting closer and closer. By now our arms are nearly brushing against each others. "My Dad came back yesterday. I have a dad, and a mom, too." Brandon glances down at me, understanding where I'm going with this. "I'm an only child, though. We come here every summer and stay with my Aunt who you already met with my Mom. We live in Sacramento. Oh, and Brandon?"

"Yeah?"

"My name is Emma Lynn Conway," I say, looking up at him. "I thought you should know."

"I should know."