only in the a.m [manxman] ✔️

snap out of it

over the past week, lane's life shifted. it became filled with drinking, depression, and sadness. he messed and he knew it. he went to work, eat, slept, and repeated the process daily.

midway through the week, he blocked ara. ara just called and texted and it became to much. lane "ghosted" ara. he didn't want to have to explain himself or why he did he stopped talking. he just wanted ara to except it. but ara couldn't. he was nervous out of his mind. he had finally found some good in his life and lane was taken from him. he wanted to know what he did wrong, if he had said or done something to set lane off. theirs texts were only filled with hi and what have you been up to.

he didn't know where he lived or any of his friends, there was no way to know if lane was even alive. ara just wanted to say sorry (something he considers weak) and hold lane in his arms again.

ara felt helpless, he couldn't focus on anything without thinking of lane and his touch. ara couldn't paint without becoming a painting of lane. his room filled with images of lane, making it harder to forget him. he was angry, as was lane. they both felt as if it was too late for anything to be done. too late to take back what had already been done.

lane schedule of being a shut-in had been ruined by his younger sister taking him out to lunch. 

lauren insisted that they go out to eat rather than ordering in. she knew there was something wrong.

'snap out of it,' she told him as lane stared aimlessly into space.

'what?'

'stop being in your head, tell me what is bothering you.'

'nothing is,' lane lied to his sister hoping she would not notice.

'why are you lying to me?' lauren could always tell when lane was not telling the truth, while their mother could not.

'it's just-'

'it's just what,' she countered, pushing lane.

i messed up.' lane began to tell her sister everything. from amanda to the bar to ara.

'darling how could you be so blind? it is clear that ara likes you. just talk to him. tell him how you feel.'

'but what if doesn't like the real me. the me that has problems.'

'lane everyone has problems get over yourself.'

'but-'

'no buts darling, snap out of it and get your man.'

'i don't know'

'do you like him?' lauren questioned.

'i'm not sure.' lane was lost and confused and honestly just wanted to eat.

lauren looked around catching her eye on their waiter. 'well, if you can't admit that you like ara, i'll call the waiter over, he's cute, you can ask him out.' she began to wave-

no,' lane nearly yelled back, 'i can't do that-'

'because you like ara.'

this wasn't lane's original reason but kinda was. he was not ready to move on past ara, he satisfied his sister 'because i like ara.'

and with that the pizza they ordered arrived.