Breathing Blue

2. "Fine by me."

The soft sound of the flatscreen TV played gently in the background while the scent of cookies lingered in the air. Mom was gently braiding my long hair while I played with my dolls. It was my bedtime, but I had asked her if I could stay up a little longer with her.

She didn't want me to be awake when dad came home. That is if he came.

"I guess you can stay up a little later tonight. Your dad will be home late anyway," She said smiling at me while cupping my face. Her soft hands smelled of ginger and sweetness.

"Yay!" I cried with joy while jumping up and down.

We stayed together in front of the Tv, her fingers brushing themselves through my brown locks.

The sound of the door opening immediately made both of us jump. Mom looked at me with her brown eyes and gave me a small smile, without even glancing towards the door. I didn't either.

The sound of drunken giggling could be heard coming from behind us and my father's slurred words filled the air.

I turned around only to see my dad with his arm around a beautiful woman's shoulder, dressed in a skimpy dress, leaving little to the imagination.

I looked up at my mother, who was used to the drill by now. Her head hung low, and her eyes said so much more than words could express.

I snuggled closer to her, feeling her warm presence and inhaling her smell.

"Mommy, who's the pretty lady?" I asked her, as my dad headed upstairs with the woman, still laughing.

"She's one of your daddy's friends." She said calmly, hiding the pain in her voice.

"Oh. Can I go say hello?" I asked with a smile.

"No my love. They need to have a grown-up talk," She laughed gently while brushing her fingers through my hair again and pulling me impossibly closer to her.

A small tear rolled down her cheek and disappeared on her soft pink lips.

I asked no questions and looked back towards the Tv.

—

I shot up from my bed while beads of sweat formed around my forehead. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't even a nightmare. It was worse. It was a memory. I hadn't realized I was crying until the salty tears had entered my mouth.

I couldn't breathe. I needed to go outside. I needed to get out of the house. By the time I got downstairs I was crying even more than before, searching for air, gasping, but my lungs wouldn't quite cooperate.

Someone was knocking on the door. I couldn't tell if it was my imagination or reality but all I knew was that I needed to get out of here.

I opened the door in a frenzy of sadness. Only to meet with a pair of ocean blue eyes, dark curls, and furrowed brows, which immediately softened when seeing me.

We looked at each other for a few seconds. No one talked, no words were exchanged. Until I broke down again.

He stared at me blankly before grunting and wrapping his arms around me, pulling my body into his. His scent of mint and cologne immediately calmed me.

He gently stroked my hair, whispering "I've got you," softly.

We stood there for what seemed like an eternity. I didn't care, I was just grateful. I was a mess, still in my pajamas, my hair was sticking out of the bun I had put it in last night and my eyes were red and puffy. When I finally calmed down I separated myself from his warm body, wiping the last tears that had fallen on my cheek.