Breathing Blue

57. "Don't push your luck, bitch!"

I laid in bed absentmindedly, my fingers tracing circles onto my bare stomach under the covers.

My curtains were wide open, allowing the light of the moon to illuminate my room.

I sighed and looked at the ceiling blankly, desperately trying to decipher my feelings.
I felt angry, disappointed, ashamed, sad, glad, happy, flustered... you name it.

The conversation with my dad hadn't gone as badly as I had expected it to, but still, the way we ended things made my stomach churn.
And to top the night off I had sex with Aaron in his car, two months after our breakup and vowing to never go near him again.

I was such a fucking disappointment.

To myself, to Cami, to Tyler...
My heart dropped as I thought of the green eyed boy. We hadn't spoken since last night, when I had been an asshole about our kiss.

I grabbed a pillow and smothered it over my face in frustration.
I had kissed Tyler and he had kissed me back, probably getting his hopes up.

If I was being completely honest with myself, I did feel something faint when I was around him, and I knew he did so too.

Then I went and had sex with Aaron. I was well aware that I didn't owe anything to Tyler, but I couldn't help but feel guilty for what I'd done.

After Aaron had dropped me off home we both agreed to forget what had happened tonight.

Well, try to forget, at least.

My mind wandered back to the warmth of Aaron's touch and his hot breath against my skin. I felt the sudden urge to slide my hands down into my shorts and relieve the tension between my legs before my phone abruptly rang.

I picked it up clumsily before seeing Tyler's caller ID.

Perfect timing, I rolled my eyes to myself before answering.

"Hey, Ty," I smiled as he grinned at me from my phone, a small towel laying on his shoulder as drops of water rolled down his skin.

"Hey, pretty girl," He said while shuffling through things, causing me to laugh.

"Did you just get out of the shower?" I smiled as he nodded.

"Like what you see?" He smirked as I rolled my eyes and giggled, feeling a surge of heat rush under the skin of my cheeks.
"What did you do today, hmm?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"Well, I had dinner with my dad," I said, leaving a few minor details out.

"Your dad? How did it go?" He asked in concern as I shifted to my side, the left side of my face burried into my pillow as he smiled.

"It was actually kind of nice," I paused and pressed my lips into a tight line, "Then I found out that he got remarried six years ago. And he had the audacity to tell me that he needed to "move on"," I muttered as Tyler rolled his eyes.

"Asshole," He said as I burst out in laughter.

"Yeah, my sentiments exactly," I smiled at him.

Tyler told me about his day and how New York was dull without me, and that he couldn't wait for me to come.
I listened attentively to everything he told me, genuinely interested with how he was doing and his life.