Player | Kim Taehyung

15

It's been a few days since what happened. Things have been cold lately. It's hard but my cold expression hide everything I feel inside. I haven't been to go to school for a really long time already. I just can't bare to look at him again. Especially when he's loving someone else.

I stopped crying few days ago but I still don't want to go to school cuz my mental state is not at a stable condition right now. I'm scared that I'll hurt other people like Sohye or the rest of the members. All of them have been trying to reach me but I ignored all of their calls and texts.

I just hope they don't come to my house. The sound of my doorbell ringing brought me back to reality. Ugh,who's that? I'm wearing a tank top,black shorts and I decided to put on a long cardigan just to cover up in case it's a pervert. I head downstairs and head to the door.

I opened the door and look at the person who's standing outside the door. I was ready to slammed the door shut but he hold the door. I glare at him and started pushing the door to close it. He fight it and I ended up letting the door open while looking at him annoyedly.

"Fuck off,Taehyung." He sighed loudly as he look into my eyes. I crossed my arms over my chest with my cold expression. I can see his eyes are pretty much swollen. Whatever. "I need to talk to you about us,please."

"There's nothing to talk about,really. It was just a game so that's that. Let it be like that." I stated while glaring at him. He sighed loudly as he closed his eyes. Tears started pouring out slowly once he closed his eyes. God,so childish. "Jae Yeon ah,don't you love me?"

"I do but why do you care,right?" I stated with no expression. I've been cold ever since I stopped crying. My heart is totally closed. I will never let a boy fool me again. "Well,if you love me,please forgive me. I love you as well,I swear! I lied to you when I told you I was not in love with you. I just realized that I'm deeply in love with you. Please,forgive me."

"Things may be so fucking simple for you but it is not for me. You know why? Cuz I got played and also betrayed by someone I love and trust with all my heart." I could feel tears are about to be formed in my eyes. I have to hold it back. I need to hide my feelings. "Jae Yeon ah,I made a mistake,okay? You mean the world to me,I don't want to lose you."

I stay quiet while his tears won't stop coming out. I don't even know what to believe anymore. He's a player after all,why is he worth trusting? Why did I think I could trust a player like him before? "For God's sake,Jae Yeon ah. Don't you ever make a mistake?"

"For a fact,falling in love with you is the biggest mistake I've ever made. I will never be able to forgive myself for being so dumb and fall for you so don't ever expect me to forgive you,Taehyung." With that been said,I slammed the door shut. He knocked on the door multiple times while calling my name as I slide myself down behind the door. I sit on the floor as tears started coming out again.

I put my hand over my mouth to make sure there'll be no sound coming out of my mouth. I don't need him to hear. I could hear him calling my name on the other side of the door. "I'm so in love with you,Jae Yeon. I regret hurting you for something so useless. I'm sorry,please. Don't shut me out,I'm begging you. I need you."

Tears continue coming out from my eyes even more while I rest the back of my head on the door. As much as I want to open the door and kiss him again,I can't. I'm scared that he'll hurt me again. People lies,including Taehyung. I know it'll hurt me even more cuz I won't get to be with someone I love but I'd rather not be hurt again.

I want to open the door and forgive him,I really do. God,I'm so fucking in love with him but I know he doesn't feel the same way. It hurts. It really does. I miss him. I want to forgive him so he could be by my side again but I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt all over again.

I'm so in love with you,Taehyung. And I will always be in love with you eventhough I wouldn't be able to forgive you.

Eventhough you're my first love,it feels like you're my last as well.

Love,Chips167.