Poem #4: Monologue to a Rose

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Please, oh please I beg:

Why do I cry in times of gladness?
When my heart should be in-tune
It sings a sad melody off-key and off-tempo
And at it's worse it does not sing, but mutter
Words of insolence and naivety.

Why, lover,

Do I feel hollow?
Have I poured out all my love into the spring
Never to be drank again by my own heart?
Yet, there is more still waiting to be consumed
and made whole again by your own?

Why does my heart ache and twinge
When I should be feeling joy at the thought of
You by my side? Oh, lover, I ask yet do not expect answer.
I yell at the edge of the cliff, awaiting the echo or some presence,
But it too is hollow.

Why do I sicken myself with distasteful thoughts?
Why do I continue to do the things that hurt me so?
I lay, empty heart and mind willing to be scorned again. My own worst enemy.

I wish to speak, but lay silent.
I hunger, but I do not eat.
I wish to be joyful for you, but I do not dance or be merry. 

I wish to love, but my heart does not wish to do the things required of it for fear of losing what little it still has.

I beg, no, plead, lover:

Why must the most desired feelings be followed by 
Such fear and neglect? 
I ask: Is it worth it? 


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