And now, I would like to present you with;
Phrases you should not say at a funeral
"Yeah, I knew her. She fucked my husband."
"Your mother died a whore"
"What do you mean those were her ashes?"
"I broke a vase labeled "Grandma" and I haven't felt clean in years"
"You look good for dead"
"You may have had my husband's dick but at least I have a beating heart!"
"You're next"
"I'm so sorry for your loss; oh you just work here."
"With the death of a loved one comes the life of a new one, everyone meet your brother, Jeremy, cause I'm going into labor as we speak"
"I thought this was a wedding"
"Where am I?"
"I'm glad it's an open casket. Now I have the chance to tell her to eat my ass one last time."
"Is it too late to flirt with the widower?"
"It's okay, she never loved you anyway."
"There is no heaven and you're all gonna end up like Margery here, dead in the ground, so what do you say we all get shitfaced?"
"Where is the cocaine?"
"I'll tell you what, she won't be needing this jewelry in the ground."
"We're burying her in a cemetery? damn."
"You show up to my funeral dressed as a hoe I'm slapping you into the afterlife"
"It's never too late to get a divorce"
"I can't believe she still has all her organs"
"God took a long time to abort you, didn't he?"
"Say hi to dad in hell for me"
"I laced the punch with cannabis, this funerals gonna get real weird real fast"
"It's dead silent in here, you guys are acting like it's a funeral"
"I didn't bring tequila shots for nothing, let's put the fun in funeral"
YOU ARE READING
Poetry Sucks: a poetry collection
PoetryA collection of poems written by a dingus who doesn't know how to write poetry. All of these are public domain so you can use 'em in your TikToks or on your MySpace pages. This mainly consists of: -Serious poetry -Vent poetry and, most importantly ...
