The Art of Loving

[54] Tears After Midnight

It was silent again, but it was a different kind of silence than before, because Brian's fingers had stopped moving, he was lying next to Ellie motionless but she could hear him breathing beside her.

Ellie had expected him to need a moment to process what she had said, but he was taking so long, it was making her nervous. Why wasn't he saying anything? Had she just messed everything up completely? Ellie's heart was beating faster than it probably ever had before and she could feel her throat getting dry. "Brian?" She whispered, her voice trembling slightly.

"You... just..." He seemed to be struggling to get a proper sentence out. That wasn't helping with how Ellie was feeling.

Ellie closed her eyes, shaking her head a little. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have said anything, just forget it... please." She took a deep breath and let go of his hand, rolling over to face the other way. She could feel her hands were shaking a little when she reached up to wipe a small tear out of the corner of her eye. Maybe the moment hadn't been perfect, maybe she should have waited a bit longer. She wasn't angry with Brian though, not at all. She didn't know why, but she was just a little disappointed. Maybe she had expected too much, maybe it was too much for her to have expected him to consider it a big deal too. Her mind was rushing, and she took a deep breath to calm herself down when she could feel a hand on her shoulder.

"Ellie," she could hear Brian's voice quietly as he moved closer to hear. "Please turn around."

And because she wasn't upset with him, she did. It was dark, but she looked at where she thought he was. Because it was dark, she was taken by surprise when Brian hugged her. "Can you say that again?" He asked softly, holding her close.

That made Ellie smile a little. Somehow he was being wonderful again. She hugged him back and snuggled close. "I love you, Brian," she repeated, her smile only growing. It was impossible not to smile when she told him that, because she really did mean it with all her heart.

She could feel Brian's arms tightening around her a little. "I love you, Ellie," he said quietly, finally telling Ellie what she had been hoping he would say in reply to that. She closed her eyes, shaking her head a little at how ridiculous it was that this was bringing tears to her eyes. Very incredibly happy tears. "You just really took me by surprise, my love," Brian continued, holding her close. "I had sort of come to terms with that I might never hear you say that... that you might never feel this way about me."

That hadn't been an unreasonable assumption, Ellie nodded a little. "That makes sense," she replied quietly. "But I do. I truly do, with all my heart. For a while, actually. I just... I had to be sure, Brian. I knew that if I was going to say this I wanted to be able to say it the way I can say it now. I do love you, Brian. I think this is the happiest that I have ever been, and it feels so bloody good to finally tell you how I truly feel."

"How long has it been on your mind?" Brian asked curiously.

Ellie took a deep breath. "Maybe a month... a month and a half?" She was a little nervous he might be upset with her for not telling him for such a long time, but luckily that wasn't the case, because he knew her.

"Honestly, that makes me very happy. You really mean it. It... it's been on my mind for a bit longer but I don't think that's surprising," Brian admitted, making Ellie smile widely.

"No, it's not," she agreed.

"I never said anything because I didn't want to overwhelm you. I told myself quite early on that if we ever got to this point, I would have to let you say it first," he explained himself.

And that made Ellie so happy. He knew her, he knew her so well, and he cared so much, he was so thoughtful. "How are you so perfect?" She asked him, still a little overwhelmed. Not because they had finally admitted their feelings, but because it was making her feel in this way. She reached up and quickly wiped her eyes again, but there were so many happy tears.